Saying Goodbye to Friends

This week I've had to say goodbye to two friends here.  :'(

One I met when I first arrived. Funny enough, she was one of the very first people I met here (It took me a month or so to figure that out though!)  She became a good friend and I've spent many hours with her getting foot rubs, coffees, and just vegging out on her patio.  I'll miss calling her up for a chat. Some people you know you'll probably never see again.  But her?  I think I will.  I hope so, anyway.  She's just the type of person who I could go to her house unshowered, in my pajamas at 3 in the afternoon and she wouldn't blink twice.  She'd just ask "want coffee or gin?"  Damn, I'll miss her.  

My other friend I actually met due to my blog.  I'm a bit sad that I'm going to stop blogging, because one of my biggest rewards is meeting people like her.  She came to Balikpapan as a single, working woman.  She lived way down on the other side of town, but we tried to meet regularly for coffee on the weekends or I'd go to her house for lunch (yippee for long lunch breaks!).  We also did Manado together and I really was planning other trips for us!! But, no... :(  She's moving back to the States.  Sniff, sniff... I guess I'll have to take Damian! HA!

Anyway, Balikpapan is a really transient town.   I've seen people just get settled and they get transferred out.  It's hard.  Bella and I came here just about the same time, so I think we just bonded looking for people to talk to.  But I tend to be drawn to the "tenured" expats.  Those that have grown roots here.  Ones that have history to share and know the best hidden secrets of BPN.

But I like meeting newbies and connecting new people to others who have similar interests/lifestyles. Families with families; singles with singles (I've had a few suggest I create a BPN dating site! LOL!).  I've introduced teachers from one school to teachers from another.  I don't need to be people's close friends, but it makes me happy when they settle in and find others to socialize with, finding their own niche.  In between those people, I find ones that I personally connect with, which makes it all that more rewarding.

Anyway, my blogging days are almost over, so I'll have to figure out how to reach out and meet more people.  Unless they show up at the door of Yuli's, I don't think it will happen as often as them emailing me over my whack-a-doodle blog!

Productive Week... and Only Wednesday!

This has been a productive week so far. We've been going round and round on what to do for housing. I should have called House Hunters International for a follow-up show!!! Lol!!

My first choice (emphasize "my" first choice) fell through.  We were going to take a local restaurant and turn it into a big loft-style house, but the owner wants to use it to rent out for weddings.  Oh well.  We had a couple other choices of getting places for virtually no cost and renovating them ourselves, but old houses aren't the same as a big, open restaurant. Anyway, it's still not like we would own it, so we just decided on getting a regular house instead. Something easy, cheap, and ready to move into. Done. Surprising, it was easier than I thought!

I'm actually enjoying the process a lot more this time around.  I'm learning more and more about how"behind the scenes" Indonesia works. When the companies do it or agents on behalf of the companies, we expats are really left out of the loop. It makes it easy, but we don't really know how stuff gets done. Anyway, it's been good.  I think it would be really hard for new people to do this themselves, but luckily between great Indonesian friends, long-term expats, and knowing a bit of the language, it has paid off for us.

The focus now turns (back) to transportation.  I love the idea of the Vespa.  I've wanted one as far back as I can remember.  However, they're horrible to drive.  They're fun for a little spin around town, but as far as real transportation, well, they suck.  We could get a newer one, but even those are awful to drive.

I think we've both come to the conclusion (after the rear wheel nearly fell off... twice) that we need wee bit better transportation. (It was so bad yesterday that we stopped on the side of the road and I took an ankot while he drove it back... just in case the wheel actually did fall off!).  But trying to decide on buying a car or motorbike.  There's not a real big reason for day-to-day to own a car here. (rain? eh.... wear a poncho... groceries?  not much to carry... and taxis are SO cheap if we did need to "stock up"... but so many places deliver here anyway...)  Cars aren't super expensive, but 9 times out of 10, we'd choose taking the motorbike out over a car.  And motorbikes are really cheap.  We're on the fence about which to buy, but I think we'll just go get a decent motorbike and deal with a car (or truck) later. (At some point, we probably do need both and I'm not day-to-day driving a motorbike around this crazy traffic town!). But, decision made... the Vespa is a toy.... the agenda for the rest of the week is deciding on which real transportation to buy!!!

Reason #423 Why I Love Indonesia

The thing about Indonesians is that if you just make the tiniest bit of effort they really appreciate it.  My Bahasa Indonesian language skills are... well, I try.  I can have a pretty decent "conversational" conversation, but when I need to say or ask for something specific, I'm in trouble.

Anyway, we crazy bules were riding up to Yuli's Friday night and we had a flat tire (again).  Ok, pull in.  No problem.... we get air, but realized we needed to change the tire and not just pump it up.  So Damian asks me to ask them if they can repair the tire.  Yeah, um, nope. "This is broken; it's no good" was as far as I could do with this one.  So we did a little charades game and found out that they couldn't do it at that shop.

The guy helped Damian change to the spare while I chatted with some ladies on the street.  We were talking and they couldn't get over us crazy bules riding the (rather old and crusty) vespa.  Scooters are cheap here, so for us to be driving this thing that barely runs is something that just amuses the locals.

We drive down the street and get the double takes and the "hi mister, hi misses" with big grins.  Little kids run next to us (yes, children run as fast as we can go....) yelling and waving.  It's quite comical.  And the tables are turned as we become the object of their camera photos! All fun.

So Friday, after stopping for the 3rd time for air and realizing it's not a valve problem, but an actual tire leak, Damian put on the spare.  To get to it, though, you have to unhook and take off the battery.  He put it all back together, we get on our helmets and he goes to start it up (which in normal conditions can be sketchy), but it wouldn't start.  He forgot to actually hook the battery back up.  We get off the bike, and he takes off the cover to do it...

The one lady just couldn't contain herself any longer and just fell over laughing.  Like, tears streaming down her face, doubling over.  She couldn't stop.  She tried to container herself and I just started laughing too.  I hopped on the back and off we zoomed.  Another great day in Indonesia!

P.S. The spare tire worked beautifully, but then a gear cable broke yesterday! Never ending fun!!  LOL!

The End is Coming...

The end is coming on the 21st of December. Yes, it was predicted. It will happen. The end of what? The earth? Humanity? The Mayan calendar?

I've been blogging since January of 2007. Six years. And how my life has changed! I have been "educated" in many, many ways. There have been some very hard life lessons to learn. And certainly my "educating wendy" moments will continue. But they'll continue offline...

Yep. The end is coming. Time to research the best way to save my blog. Download, pdf, export, save.... delete. This is me, my memories. My stories and laughs and crazy moments in time! The overweight, minivan driving, Walmart shopping, patriot to the scar-ridden, ute-driving, village talkin' PNG uni worker, to the unemployed expat partner, to....

From time to time, I've thought about stopping my blog. I've changed it a few times over the years, but kept it going. Recently, I really started to think about what it would be like to stop it. Could I? It's my baby. I was thinking back to my dissertation research and why people blog - motivations, reasons, etc. I do like it to keep track of events (so many times I've looked stuff up to see what month I traveled). But what I really use it for isn't for that. And there's the community outreach - I do read a lot of blogs and share information. And I do like helping new expats. I'm not a big "in person" person, but I'm a connector... tell me what you need and I'll find you a couple of great contacts. And I really like reaching out to the atypical expat - the single females or the lower paid volunteer type expats. I remember struggling in PNG, so I feel for them.

But really, I blog for me. It's my outlet. I like to write. I always thought I'd write a book one day. (Confession.... I have two books I've started and never completed.) I have so many book ideas, but I'm (hanging head down in shame) a procrastinator. If someone gives me a deadline, I slam out work. But unless I have that line in the sand, well, I'm a bit of a slug. But when I do produce work, I like it to be quality. Ironic that I'm sort of an overachieving procrastinator? Yeah, I don't get it either.

Anyway, with all the advertising opportunities I could have turned the blog into a commercial venture. I thought about it many times. But honestly, I'm not passionate about it. What? Write generic articles about gastric bypass or post links for expat insurance? Shoot me in the head. One of my "educating wendy" moments was doing work that I enjoy doing. (I didn't leave corporate finance for education for the money....).

But "blogging", per se, isn't my passion. I enjoy it! But I've got other plans now. Maybe if I stop my blog, I'll finish a book. Maybe. Maybe not. Eh. Who knows. Watch the Best Sellers list just in case. But writing a book isn't on my top list of things either (although it will be a kicker if I do!). But it's time to focus on a new adventure. One that, hopefully, will make more money than commercializing my blog, and one that I'm passionate about. Isn't the key to success finding something you love doing and that you can make money from? Well, time to try.

So I'm sure there will be a few more posts before "the end". But read up, peeps, because Dr. Wendy's going offline. And if it really is the end of the world, well, none of this will matter than, right?!?! ;)

2nd Place....

After some tense competition*, Educating Wendy won the silver medal for the 2012 Indonesia expat awards. Thank you to those of you who voted (especially to those who voted before I even knew this was going on!). LOL!!!! I totally admit that I have validation gold star issues like Gretchen Rubin.



*When you say that there were only ten blogs involved, saying you won 2nd place doesn't sound as exciting. It's sort of coming second to the valedictorian in high school when there was only a dozen or so of us in our graduating class. But sometimes it's best just to focus on the bigger issue than the little details.... I mean, it's not like Grenada. One blog and win by default. I worked hard to beat out that 3rd place Jakarta blog. I think it just proves that BPN is better than JKT!!! ;) Oh, wait, the Manado blog actually won. Hmmm. Well, hmm.... yeah, well, who wouldn't want to live in Manado?!?!

 

Blogging About Blogging....

Funny enough that when I started this blog six years ago, I didn't know what it would morph into or what it would become. Sometimes you just start something and go with it. You don't realize how life with change and turn and what will really happen. I never realized that by me blogging, it opened up a fascinating world. I ended up basing my dissertation on anonymous blogging and virtual communities of practice.

A blog exposes you... readers stalk read. Some may comment. Some send private messages. People think they know you because they have your rss feed. But funny enough, as much as you're "public" there's a pretty big chunk of self that does not make it on the blog. Maybe it's alluded to, but for the most part, it's left off. Some things are truly personal. We all draw the line in different places.

And there's always stuff in the background that may just culminate with a single post. It's big. Certainly out of the everyday stuff. But it's not ready to be shared. And when it is, it's just a simple post, fairly generic, just to get it out and move on. I've had those posts - divorce, moving to PNG, etc. For others, it might be a death or an illness.

The thing is blogging is real time. Or is it? It's the author's real time. We can pre and post date entries. We can also withhold information, even though we may give you every single detail of something else that may seem very personal. (Obviously we don't care if you know the details or we wouldn't have posted it to the internet in the first place.)

There are people that know us and follow us as virtual and real people. There are those that follow us completely virtually. And then there are those with vast distances that know us, or what they still perceive as us and follow our blog as a way of "keeping in touch". Here's the thing. Reading a blog does not mean you know the person. Virtuality doesn't not substitute personal relationships. Don't get me wrong, virtual relationships have value. (I think my dissertation research showed this!). BUT, what isn't taken into consideration is all the behind the scenes hurting, humanity, and rawness. That just doesn't seem to translate well.

Maybe we bloggers do it to ourselves. We self-depreciate, we try to find humor, we put ourselves on the line with a strong face. Occasionally, savvy readers may see a crack. Topics will deviate, frequencies of posts will change, we second guess the value in blogging.

I woke up to my rss feeds and read this post from a friend. I got it immediately. So many times I've experienced this. How do you tell blog readers you're getting a divorce or whatever shocking news... Sometimes it's big. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes you just don't know how to blog about something, but you need to blog it to transition. (Yes, I quit my expat job in PNG... why? Oh, uh, yeah, well, because I'm following my partner to Indonesia. Oh, did I forget to mention that I started seeing someone? Oops...)

Anyway, I've got a couple things that are about to happen/going on that will change my blog. I've been asked numerous times to commercialize it. I've had some good monetary offers. Funny enough, I've been pondering ideas for a while and finally just decided on what I was going to do yesterday. I didn't quite come to a full acceptance of it though. Something was sort of lingering in my mind if it really was what I should do. And then I read Mumu Mama's post this morning. Immediately, I got it. I sent her a message. Whatever her issue, is her issue, but I can be supportive to just say, yep, I understand....

Mezirow (1990) talks about disorienting dilemmas. (OMG, I know I am not having flashbacks to my Ph.D. days.... but just hang with me for a minute...). But these can be triggered by a major life transition, a life crisis, or even from an accumulation of various crap over time. (OK, so this is not exactly me quoting research here, but stay with me...). Bottom line: Shit happens. You can either make sense of them by fitting them into your normal knowledge frame or throw it out and create a new one.

During this time, you're vulnerable. You're unsure of yourself. You question what you've done, where you are, where you're headed. And yet this is the time that the magnifying glass is on you. You feel it. The heat is on. You're like a bug in the sunlight under it. Will you crawl your way out before you catch fire? Or will the observers watch you burn? Or will they offer some shade? You never know....

So my life right now is in *ahem* transition. It's uncomfortable; odd; unsettling. We have a loosely laid plan. How will it work out? Shoulder shrug. I don't know. Probably not like I imagine it. But, I can work toward it and see. Life... just when you think you have it planned, it will change. Sometimes it's harder that other times.

For me, I love blogging. I love the cathartic nature of it when you've had one of those "remember where you are" crazy days. It's rewarding just by the process. And ever more so when people email you for information or to say thanks for the laugh. But then, you have the other side of it... the people wanting more than you can give (newbie expats can literally send 100 questions that if they actually READ your blog they would get answers to.... but they want the short cut for you to research the craziest things for them to consider moving there). I really like getting emails from possible new expats, but I've had my fair share of nut cases. Like the one guy who I helped for months before he moved to PNG. He arrived, expected me to be his best mate, but was a total freak and didn't last long before he quit... got fired? I don't even know.... Was just happy when he left! And then there's the occasional hate mail. Eh, all part of the territory of blogging.

Anyway, blah blah blah.... I've got some behind the scenes stuff going on at the moment that's been distracting me from my blog! Shock. Horror. But soon my peeps an announcement will be made. Give me a day or two....

WHAT? Blog Awards?!?!

How did I not know this was happening?!?! There's voting for the best blogs!!! Time to vote, people! Time to vote!  SHARE THE LOVE....  ;) Click here and give me some stars!  (I'm not above groveling...)



P.S. Papua New Guinea winners were already announced.  You must read the winners!! KiwiExpat and Mumu Mama!