Educating Wendy

Life As Organized Chaos

2012-03-07T10:21:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how long it takes to settle into a routine. We've been here now for over 4 months and I feel like there is still no routine. I guess it doesn't help when I throw in surgery in another country and all that entails, and then an international tv filming... unpack cargo, only to strip the house bare, then fix it up all again. Yeah, yeah, I know... I'm a masochist.

So I thought I could finally figure out some sort of routine, but, then again, hard to do when Dame is off with his crazy travel schedule this week- Jakarta today then back to Balikpapan Friday morning, then to Melbourne Friday night and back again to Balikpapan Monday morning. Maybe I'll try a routine next week instead! Ha!

I did get my follow up finally with the doctor and my third eye proved enlightening and my third hole is all good. I'm cleared to finally start exercising next week, albeit slow. Eh, I've already ventured onto the treadmill.... shhh.... and golf Friday... and fishing Saturday... double shhh! ;) The doc suggested I do physio at the local hospital, but I think I'll be ok if I just start really stretching a little bit more every day. My third eye sees yoga in my future!

Anyway, my life is organized chaos. I don't mind, but I think it will take a wee bit longer to get a routine here. Maybe since PNG there wasn't many options on stuff to do, we naturally fell into a pattern. Even when Dame worked his super late nights, I knew where to meet up with him and others without even asking... Yachty Tuesday and Fridays, Huon Club Wednesdays. We're just not there yet here. Eh, whatever. Transition. Keeps things exciting!! :)

And That's A Wrap...

2012-03-05T19:01:00.001+08:00

Holy crap! (Oh wait, are we still filming? I can't say that....CUT!!). Ok, so filming is done. Wow! When the producer told me that the 3 day shoot would be more full on than the one day shoot, she wasn't joking! The one day thing in the States was super fun and easy. The three day shoot? Well, it was.... a wee bit more than I originally thought. Oh, the things I get myself into... and drag others with me... Hey, Rhina and Dame? Are you guys still speaking to me?!?!? :D

Awesome Julian, the video guy

So, here's a nutshell of how it went down.... Two guys were coming from Bangkok and one from Sydney, all landing in Balikpapan 11 pm before the 7:30 start time on Friday. Tight enough, right? Well, the two Bangkok guys had a flight delay and weren't able to connect through Jakarta until morning so we shuffled to start filming at 9:45, but they didn't arrive until 10:30 or something. I can't remember. They were exhausted from catching the early bird from Jakarta and they quickly became their own baristas with our espresso machine. Poor guys!!

In between the late start, we had to work around Rhina and Dame's work schedules, which left a tiny little window over lunch with all of us together. We did that bit, but, well, it turned out that Dame had probably his worst day here Friday with shit flying from every direction. He ended up working until nearly 10 pm Friday night. Work first, what can you do?

But the crew was really great. I'm totally stressed, but they were apparently used to stuff going wrong. They just rolled with it. So they shuffled more things around and kept plugging along filming what they could. Ave came and did some market shopping with me and then we called Rhina to see if she could just meet at the La Granduer for an interview with the water in the background to save driving.

Rhina doing interview

So Saturday was all about houses. Hmmm, it's cloudy.... of course it pissed down rain in the middle of the day. And we started one house without any air conditioning and we were dying. But you can't turn it on mid-way through because of the sound. Holy crap, we live on the equator. Air conditioning is a must!!! And this was day two, which also meant day two in the same clothes. Um, my ass isn't supposed to sweat, remember?!?! OMG, I thought the video guy was going to pass out. Whatever he makes, it is not enough. That camera is HEAVY and he toted that thing around on his shoulder just dripping...

At one house, the pembantu kept coming out over and over. Rhina basically asked her what was up and she was all nervous because she couldn't cook lunch. The guy renting the house came in before we finished shooting (first time I met him). Thank god he was super cool about it. The owner of the house assured me, but you just never know... so we're like, um, please don't be made your pembantu didn't cook up your lunch!! He was fine. At another house, we had a ton of people hanging out watching us. The idea of "film crew" coming brought on all sorts of onlookers. They just wanted a piece of the action! Welcome to Indonesia! Chaos!

More Interviews!

We fit in a bit of extra stuff Saturday so the film crew could give us some time Sunday morning to put the house back together. We had our house bare to shoot it and needed to put everything back. Sophia came to work Sunday for me (what would I have done without her?!?!?). All the crew ate Saturday at our place and we had padang and McDonald's all over the kitchen and dining area. Coffee, sodas, trash. Yeah, well, it was nice to film 3 houses within a kilometer of each other so we could just take a break at our place (which we ensured had air conditioning ON!).

So, our last day of filming rocks up and it's pouring down rain (again). POURING. It was one of those rains that was going to settle in for a while. So, we were up at 6:30 for a 9:30 shoot. Sophia arrived at 7:00. She's cleaning the mess and making the beds, we're putting things back - fishing tackle, bookshelf stuff, all the clothes in the closet. The house has to look lived in! We have to hang up pictures still. Oh, and shower?!? And then I get a call from the director asking if we can start filming earlier because they were going to film broll, but the weather was shit. Yeah, sure, come on over.... So we jump in the shower. Luckily, we could put on fresh clothes. The stinky outfit was for later.

We got the rest of the filming for our house done in the morning. These bits are all much easier and more fun. (Kind of like the shoot in the States.) Then we were off to film the "decision scene", the market, the meet and greet with Rhina, and fishing. Big change of clothes day. We grab out stinky shirts off the table as well as the rest of all the clothes. We go to change to "stink outfit" - the third day of filming and we've worn that same outfit for two full days now.... and where are the jeans? Um, Sophia picked them up and they were in the spin cycle. LOL! So, no choice, but to grab them and go.... we got to the restaurant and we changed into wet jeans. Nothing feels more fabulous than to walk around, then sit, in fully wet jeans!!

We get through all that, and change clothes again, and more scenes, and change clothes again, and more scenes. Thankfully the weather cleared and it turned into a beautiful day. We're finishing up and the last thing to do is Yuli's "friend get together" to celebrate our house and fishing. It's 4:30. Well, we were so short on time, I canceled going out on the big boat from the beach the day before. I told Billy we'd move it to the little boat off Yuli's. And filming went later and later, and not sure what happened, but we got to Yuli's and the boat was gone! We have 2 hours of daylight left. We rocked up... and no boat. ROFL! I filmed buying fishing stuff in the States, we've been talking about space for Damian's "tackle room" in every house. We've shown the fishing gear.... and... no fishing scene!

And more interviews!

The director decides to just film friends with us at Yuli's. All good. In the meantime, Yuli is trying to call Bill while he's out on the water. Eh, shit happens. We order food... and beers (more beers...... Dame started drinking at 9 am as we were pretending it was after work and actually cracked one open for our house shoot. Then at the "decision scene," we had a beer and, had to, of course, film it a couple of times with new beer bottles and glasses... It's awful when the film crew asks you to just keep drinking... lol!!)

Anyway, okay, so time to fake some sort of fishing scene. They film us walking to the pier. Yes, we're going to "fish" off the pier... (with large reels set up for deep ocean fishing.... but I digress...this is faux "reality" tv). We walk to the pier. It belongs to Total. It's a private pier and no matter what sweet talking we do, they will not let us on. We must be a member. Even the local person that is with us to handle such things couldn't convince them to let us on for 5 minutes to fake it. Nada. Nothing. We have zip.

Yes, the photo is blurry!

Yuli tries and tries calling Bill. She finally gets through. He's at the oil rigs. She says he's going to come flying back in.... we wait. The sun is going down, down, down. We make a quick plan to jump on the boat and do whatever we possibly can. Sunlight is running out quickly and there was some miscommunication about the sound and our microphones were taken off and sound guy stayed behind. Billy comes barreling in, we jump on (while wading passed the jellyfish...) and go!

Dame and I each throw in a "faux line". We walk around the boat, we chat it up with Billy, we sit on the back edge. The sun goes down. They get the footage. Literally, it was one of those things that I couldn't believe last minute came through. There's no audio, but I'm sure they video will work fine. They only need a few seconds of "fishing" to tie it all together. There wasn't enough time to go out to shoot the oil rigs, but, eh, we're more important! ;)

So, that's a wrap. I didn't realize tv was so stressful! My type-A, anal retentive, planner personality came out, which just doesn't help these kinds of situations. I probably should have started each day with a valium! Eh, whatever!

My painting... ON THE WALL!

I will say, that I'm glad I did this if, for no other reason, the house is finally decorated! It sort of forced me into getting stuff done. I dropped off my PNG painting off with a local place and literally the drivers for the film crew went and picked it up for me Saturday at 4:30 before the store closed! I'm so please with the result. I lost the trim of the painting, but they were able to stretch the canvas and frame it properly.

Anyway, it's all done now.... I officially have a home in Borneo! It's just up to the film editors how this thing will all play out. To be continued on HGTV....

Sports of Balikpapan

2012-03-01T09:46:00.001+08:00

Sporty Spice doesn't have anything on some of the girls here in Balikpapan. This is certainly a sporty town... golf, tennis, swimming, hash runs, fun runs, boxing, aerobics, yoga, biking, motor cross, rock climbing, fishing, you name the sport and there's someone here into it. It's pretty awesome.

Frankly, I know it's going to take me a couple good months before I can really do any decent rock climbing. I still can't lift my right arm straight, let alone hang. I can't wait to get back on the treadmill, although I have a love/hate relationship with it. (I'm still not released to do any sort of exercise due to "third hole". God forbid I sweat while I live on the equator. Doc even said no to yoga. Grr.).

Anyway, I was a'googling and found this clip.... don't know where/when/who, but it gives you an idea of the sportiness of Balikpapan. The guys are into it as much as the girls. And, it happily ends with Yuli's Cafe. Great video.... yep, this is where I live! I heart Balikpapan! :)

Saturday Ride to Yuli's from Ben Sheridan on Vimeo.

Third Eye, Good; Third Hole, Bad

2012-02-29T21:33:00.000+08:00

One thing that I enjoy about traveling is learning about different religions, beliefs, and traditions. The concept of the "third eye" transcends across many different cultures, but always in a positive, yet mythical way. I'm fascinated. I always thought I should try to develop a third eye.

However, apparently, my mind and body don't always cooperate, and instead of a third eye, I have developed a third hole.... in my nether regions. Oh yes, so much for six weeks of healing. I followed all the instructions (I've always been a stellar student...) and did what the doctors and nurses told me. Why, oh, why do I now have an extra hole in my ass? Grr. Everything was healing nicely....

Apparently my body decided it needed a drain hole and *poof* one magically appeared in the most inconvenience places.... where the stitching came together on the inside of my ass crack. Lovely. Fucking lovely. I have a hole.

How do I know this? Well, for American girls around my age who went to public junior high school and your parents signed off that you should attend sex ed and your PE teacher who taught it was a lesbian who preached girl-power and man-hating, well, we were highly encouraged and instructed in the use of mirrors and "getting to know one's body". So, reliving my tweenage days, mirror in hand, I snuck away privately on my own exploration mission...

After visual confirmation, the following BBM conversation took place....
Me: I told you that wasn't spoof. I have a hole.
Dame: How do you know. Did you use a mirror? :D
Me: Yes.
Dame: Damn, girl, can't you do that when I'm around??
It's good to have a supportive boyfriend.

Anyway, after two weeks of intermittent drainage, I went to the clinic yesterday. I felt a little silly as I know it's not infected. But I have a hole. That is not going away. So I tell the clinic doc and I drop pants and hop up on the table. He asks where's the spot I'm concerned about... I instruct him to spread my cheeks... yep, ya see it now? Yeah, that third one... I'm pretty sure basic anatomy states that it should not be there.

Well, apparently this isn't good. The nurse asks if he was going to stitch it up. He said no way that it would only cause it to get infected. He creams it up with some antibiotic cream and bandages it up and tells me that this must heal quickly. He instructed me to have someone (oh, I just have to remind how lucky Damian is to be part of my life....) to do this every day and to come back Monday.

The intermittent drainage is it starting to heal then opening back up (inside) regardless of the hole on the outside. He's hoping that stuffing some cream inside will trigger my body to heal itself. If not, there's no choice but to send me out, have me recut open to redo the internal stitches and then the external stitches.

WTF? Not what I expected or wanted to hear. Come on! It's just a bit of leakage... girls have leakage... just, well, um, not from a third hole. But if the third eye is any indication, I view my third hole optimistically. I'm going to channel my powers to develop my third eye, while shutting down my third hole. Let the power of the mind commence.... Yes, I see it... the hole is closing! But the image is fuzzy... well, it's either the hole closing or me shopping in Singapore!

Good grief. I go through all this and my "complication" is a drain hole! This confirms that I am a freak of nature. Sigh.

House Hunters International

2012-02-28T16:41:00.008+08:00

So lots of people have asked how the heck did we end up with a film crew coming to Borneo!?!? Well, one of the producers found my blog and emailed me and asked if I'd do it! They had never filmed Borneo and I fit their bill. I sent her the info she needed, did a Skype call and that was that. I filmed in the United States and now another film crew is flying into Balikpapan on Thursday. Full on, I've been busy!!

The producer also asked me if there was anyone else that I knew that would be great for the show. I mentioned it to a few people and now friends of friends are wanting information. Awesome!!! They need different stories and locations! I thought I would just post here what they need and how they do it. (It's all out already on the internet, so I'm not spilling any secret surprises here, but I do want people to know before they sign up...)

They call this genre of tv "factual entertainment", aka, it's all based on facts, but it's for entertainment so there are some things that are done for the sake of filming.... It's sort of a half real estate show and half travel show. The idea is to show American and Canadian (yes, the only two countries in which it airs, although it is quite popular with like over 2 million viewers each week!) what housing you could rent or buy in different parts of the world. The episode is just a half hour long, but the show starts with the back story and where the participants are moving from; then has a real estate agent show them three comparable properties in the new location while they discuss the pros and cons of each; then they have the people explore their new city; then the reveal of the house they chose with a little celebration at the end.

In reality, this is what happens.... they try to catch people before they leave one location and come and film them, although this is difficult. In my case, they contacted me just before leaving Papua New Guinea and between the time it took to get the filming approved by the government and the cost associated in getting in a film crew (and the government warnings on how violent the country is...), it was all too much. So, they suggested they film the one day back story in the United States, which worked out anyway because I went to visit the girls. Anyway, at some point, if you've already left your old location, you'll need to go back and "recreate" scenes of leaving. All good. It's only one day.

Then in your new location, you have to have found your house and be in it. Yeah, yeah, there are some people up in arms about this on the internet. GASP! These people already picked their house! Well, duh. The film crew cannot park themselves in some foreign country while paperwork and moving takes place. This is a cable tv show, not some prime time commercial funded program. So, they show you recreating your house hunt, even looking at houses you considered when making your choice. They do try to follow what happened as much as they can within filming limitations.

The second half of filming is for three days in which the three house tours take place, including the reveal. So, yeah, you tour your house like you're seeing it for the first time (with personal stuff hidden away). It's a lot to cram in to three days of filming. But, face reality, do people really think the film crew should fly all the way back around the world for the "reveal"? And what happens if the property didn't go through and you didn't get the rental or make the purchase? So, recreating "factual entertainment" it is... I'm not naive and I hope most viewers aren't either. Sit back, enjoy the show, and see what the different places have to offer potential buyers or renters....

Anyway, for friends, family, and blogreaders that are interested in giving the tv show a go... here's more info...

Leopard Films is the producing company that emailed me and have been coordinating my filming. More info on House Hunters International can be found on their website here as well as the main House Hunters International HGTV site here. To submit your story, visit this website here for the email address to contact. Basically, you send them a 3-4 minute video clip of telling your story (upload via www.sendspace.com) - where you're leaving, where you're going, what you'll miss, what you're looking forward to.... This is just to get your "camera" presence and can be casual and fun.

I tried to be creative and try to get a big, traditional sing-sing group at the Morobe Show to say "We Love House Hunters International!".... it failed miserably, but was funny!

And then I ran into one of my students and he tried to get us a clip with just a few of the members of the sing-sing group! Good try, Wikai, but we finally gave up! And then our cameras all died before we could do any of our own "talking" clips. We thought filming at the annual Morobe Show would "capture their attention" like they suggested... but, um, Papua New Guinea is the Land of the Unexpected!

So that night, exhausted from the Morobe Show and still packing up stuff, we did just a quick clip chatting to the camera.... the producer needed it right away. So much for being creative...

We let that clip upload overnight and then we did the following clip during our pool time on Sunday with Alex, our cameraman...

The producer said the first clip was fine so made thing easy. We filled out the questionnaire (see below) and she submitted our story and got us approved right away.

Anyway, it was exciting and new to think about moving and we didn't know what to expect living in Indonesia (visiting Bali certainly does not shed any light on living in the real Indonesia!). It will be fun to recreate this move and show this great city we're now located. We are provided a generous housing allowance and hopefully are able to show viewers what real options are available here in Balikpapan for that range.

And, by the way, we won't even see the show until after it airs! After it gets shown in the States/Canada, the episode will be released online. Then the producers will send us a DVD of the show. So.... once I know when it airs, I'll let my friends know in the States... the rest of us will just have to be a wee bit more patient!

So, there you have it.... go forth and submit your story! And if you're lucky enough to have Melissa as your producer, she'll make it fun and easy. This has been a busy week, but we're looking forward to filming Balikpapan this weekend! :)

House Hunters International Questionnaire

Thank you for your interest in being a part of "House Hunters International!" Below is a questionnaire to help our production team develop your episode. Fill it out as best you can.

As you answer, help the producers out by giving them great details. "We needed more space and needed to move" doesn't sell you and your story so well; but "We have two home offices, a 4th child on the way, cold winters are diving us mad, work is sending me overseas, one kid is training for the Olympics and needs a home gym, mom has an art studio in the garage, and I've saved every penny to invest in a vacation home" is more like it.

Be honest! Unload your concerns, fears and problems with moving not only to a new home, but a new home in an area different than your place of origin. Really lay out the challenges you are/were facing during the house hunt.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION
Full Name/Age/Occupation:
Partner’s Name/Age/Occupation:
Marital Status:

Number of years as a couple/married

Name of Children/Ages:
Home Address:
Second/New Home Address:

Home Phone:
Mobile Phone:

Other Phone:

Email addresses:

Rough calendar outlook: When would you be available to shoot your back story which would be in your city of origin (1 day shoot)? When would you be available to shoot your house hunting experience (3-4days)? List any scheduling conflicts you have this year and tell us about any travel plans you have.

Are you able to shoot on 3 weekdays or do you need to shoot on weekends?

ABOUT YOUR FAMILY

What’s something you feel is unique about your household/family, something that may not be readily obvious to someone meeting you for the first time?

What do you do for fun? More importantly, what do you do for fun around the new location you have or are about to be moving to?

What did you have to sacrifice, if anything, to make living in this city/country come true? Please explain in great detail.

ABOUT YOUR HOUSE HUNT

What’s your House Budget Range/Price? How will you pay for the home-cash, finance?

Are you buying or renting?

What were you looking for/ what do you have in your new home?

# Bedrooms: # Baths: # Square Meters:

Other Features:

Explain your house hunting experience. Have you found a home or How close are you to finding a home? How long have you been looking for a new property in this city/country and if applicable, how soon are you looking to move in?

Are you looking for a furnished home or will you buy furniture? When do you expect to be settled in your new home?

Are you planning on doing any renovations?

Besides lack of space and storage, what motivated you to purchase a new home in this country/city? Work? Vacation home? Family? Investment? Fed up with your current location? Please explain in great detail.

What kind of layout is your new home? (Please be specific with levels, living spaces, types of rooms, parking, etc.) If you have pictures of your new home, please email to us).

Did you sell an older property to move into a new one? Are you going to hang on to an older property? Please explain.

What were some deal breakers? What makes you categorically reject a property the minute you hear about it?

ABOUT YOUR NEW COUNTRY

What are a few things about this country/city that made you fall in love with it?
Describe your new neighborhood.

Do you have family or friends in the area?
What are your favorite spots in the area? Please name real locations like restaurants, parks, etc. that you visit frequently.

What has been your biggest obstacle in finding a home in this country/city? What should buyers be aware of while house hunting in the area?

Aside from finding a home, what were some of the things you had to do or wanted to do upon your arrival in your new country?

OTHER INFORMATION

Are you working with an estate agent(s)? If so, name of agent and agency.

How did you meet your agent? If your agent fluent in English? If not, would you be willing to work with another agent for this potential episode?

Which airports do you use?

Will you use/have you used a professional moving company? If so, list name, website, address and phone number.

Have you or members of your family ever appeared on TV? Has your home ever been featured in any publication, TV etc.? Do you have any TV experience?

The Sound of My Baking

2012-02-25T16:00:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty sure my Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Banana Nut Muffins aren't supposed to make this sound when I drop them on the plate.... good grief. Perhaps that baking soda I didn't have was important. Or maybe I should have waited until I replaced my measuring cup that was broken in cargo. I swear it looked like a cup and a half of flour.... Or maybe I shouldn't have tried to combine two recipes. Eh, they're just, um, ~~dry~~ a little unmoist and ~~rock hard~~ slightly firm. But they ~~sort of~~ taste okay...

An Unconventional Woman

2012-02-25T14:36:00.000+08:00

I met "Opa Steve" early on here. I was at Lea's one night and we struck up a conversation about where I was from and how I ended up with an Aussie guy in Balikpapan. He compared me to Elizabeth Gilbert and I poked fun that he read a "chick book" (which he adored). He told me his story, while interspersing it with quotes of poetry, and ending the night with some outstanding "Opa" life advice. From that night on, I was smitten with Opa Steve.

Friday night at Yuli's we were chatting, and I'm not even sure how we started discussing books. He said he is very hesitant about recommending books, but he had one that he thought I'd like - a romantic true-story of a professional Australian woman (a female dentist in the 1940s) that married an Indonesian soldier, and came to live with him during the days before Indonesia gained their independence. He said the book was called An Unconventional Woman, and described me. :) Hmmm, I'd have to agree!

So, he ends up disappearing and bringing back the book on the same night. I read the back cover. "Melbourne 1942. A country at war. At her parents' home in a white middle-class suburb, Jean Walters meets Sergeant Julius Tahija, a young Indonesian solder, and falls in love"... Oh, I think I'll like it! But, he tells me to be honest and if I end up not reading it or liking it. No worries...

Well, I had been busy, but then I cracked it open Tuesday night before bed. I was instantly captured. I forced myself to put it down so I could sleep. Wednesday, I still had so much to do, but I ended up grabbing it and reading it, pushing off any activity until the next day. I raced through the book, fascinated by it. Amazing story, rich with history, and connecting so many little things for me. I forced myself to slow down and finished it up Thursday afternoon.

Opa Steve and I need to sit down and do a proper "book club" review. And, unfortunately, I have to return this borrowed book. Funny that I actually do not have copies of some of my most favorite books - they've been lent to me - and thus my bookshelf (and my Kindle and iPad) aren't representations of my most treasured readings. I do think, though, I am going to make a point to track down my own copy of this book so that I can let others borrow it. I found some used book stores that are able to ship it to me here.

Anyway, here is just a bit of why I absolutely adore this book -

It spoke of places that have special meaning to me - Jean grew up in Melbourne (where Damian is from) and spoke of neighborhoods and areas that I've heard Dame talk about, also with fond memories; She wrote about the fighting during the war and makes special mention of Lae and Salamaua, places that I lived and visited while living in Papua New Guinea; She wrote about moving to Indonesia and the culture and experiences that she embraced, even though she was an outsider (yes I feel that too); She wrote about her son going to college at the University of Virginia. Yes, I'll always be a Virginian. Born and raised. And I have been to the UVA campus. She also wrote about her husband's firsthand development of the Freeport mine, the mine site where I applied for a job with a recruiter, which, in an indirect way, led to Damian being told about the job here in Balikpapan. These little details drew me even further into the book, connecting me with this woman's story.
It is written with such pride, yet humility. An autobiography is a difficult thing to write and yet Jean Tahija captured it beautifully. She includes photos and reprinted letters that were between she and her (soon-to-be) husband. Between that and the historical accounts of the war, journey to independence, and social context, this book captures much more than her life story. It captures a personalized history of Indonesia.
The book is quotable.... here are just a few, starting with the one Opa Steve noted:

"In life we make choices - or choices are made for us - and we must live with them." p. 252
"Lives, except in retrospect, are not metaphors. They are lived moment by moment. The path down which a life travels is unclear and indiscernible until one looks back and imposes order on what is essentially the chaos of existence. So, I suppose, it has been with my life." p. 258
"There are people who would argue that I have given up much for Julius - my family, my country, my professional career. That, they would say, has been the lot of women for far too long a time. In a sense, it is true, I have given up a lot for Julius; but then, in every life, there are choices to be made that involve sacrificing some things in order to gain others. I followed my heart as far as Julius was concerned, but I followed it with my eyes open." p. 287
"I do not know why my life took the path that it did, but I am content with the road down which I have travelled." p. 289
"I had no doubts about what I was doing. Even when my journey to Indonesia turned out to be hard and hazardous, when I felt alone and apprehensive about the place to which I was going, I had no doubts about the choices I had made." p. 142

The book is simply an account of "An Unconventional Woman". She had the title correct. I absolutely adored this book and I have made notes of places to visit in Indonesia (like next time I go to Jakarta I'll make a point to visit the monument at Crocodile Hole where bodies of murdered generals were dumped down the well). It's a fascinating read by a fascinating woman, recommended to me by a fascinating guy, Opa Steve. Thank you, Steve! You can recommend a book for me anytime! :)

Cooking Lessons!

2012-02-22T12:18:00.002+08:00

I just love my new neighbor, Pon. She's Thai and cooks up the most amazing food. I jokingly told her I wanted to order take away and she whipped out her ipad... a couple of seconds later, she pulled up an online menu from her restaurant in Thailand. Sweet Jesus! I've hit the jackpot of all neighbors!!

So, she invited me over for some cooking lessons with some other ladies. I don't know how often she does this, but sign me up!! The menu for the day was spring rolls, Thai pad, and green curry. She goes all out when she does them. We each get an apron and our own tools and chopping board. We're given the ingredient list and a pen.... we must work for the "how to" part!

This was the day cargo arrived, so I got through most of the spring roll part and missed the rest. However, I made it over after everything was finished and got to try it all. Yum, yum, yum. She even sends you home with little "take-aways"... this day was a special Thai seasoning pack and veggie shredder! A good time was had by all... even if she didn't let us crack open the wine until lunch was served! ;)

Anyway, I asked her if I could post her spring roll recipe online.... here we go with my best interpretation of what we did that morning! ;)

Pon's Spring Rolls
spring roll wrappers

chicken mince

black mushrooms (cut thin)

carrot (shredded)

cabbage (shredded)

glass noodles

garlic

white pepper

coriander root

oyster sauce

soy sauce

oil (sunflower)

chicken powder

Mortar and pestle the garlic, white pepper, and coriander root.

Then cook that in a bit of oil in the wok.

Then add chicken mince, breaking it apart until cooked;

Add shredded carrots, cabbage, and mushrooms. Stir. Add oyster sauce and soy sauce.

Then add noodles (pre soak noodles in tepid water for 5 minutes).

Stir! Add the secret ingredient of chicken powder. Then let sit to cool.

Wrap them (using whisked egg whites to seal the edges). Cook until golden brown! Or you can leave them in the fridge or freeze uncooked ones for later. We each also took away a big baggie of uncooked spring rolls! We made over 50! :)

Sorry no pictures for the last bit.... I wrapped quite a few, but bolted out wearing my apron when I got the call that the cargo truck was lost in my neighborhood! Yipee! Cargo! I now have pots and pans! My turn to cook! Let the disasters begin! Luckily, if things go bad, I can walk next door to some yummy food! :) Yeah, Pon!!! P.S. Her blog site is www.piponthaikitchen.blogspot.com! YUM!!!

Standby's

2012-02-20T18:22:00.001+08:00

I remember all too well sitting at the Yachty in Lae and the guys buying rounds and rounds of SP beer. I could never keep up and would pass on many rounds. But in Balikpapan? Oooohhh, different story! Here the thing is "standby" drinks. Clever!

You point out to the waitresses the people to be included in your shout and they hand out little "standby" cards. No warm beer sitting there waiting, no rush to skull the one you have... For me, whoop-whoop! I get my money out of shouting rounds as I get standby cards from everyone else to use at my own leisure!

So, right now I'm blogging at Yuli's with my standby cards! :) Life is good!

Playing Dress Up!

2012-02-18T10:44:00.001+08:00

I can't decide... Hermes or Chanel?

I'm a flip-flop (thongs, for you Aussies) girl. I wear t-shirts and jeans. Occasionally, I like to get something "designer," but I better love it! (And when I mean "designer," I'm talking the everyday designer... Let's just say that my Tiffany's splurge was over the top for me. I own one Coach purse (and it's very small, certainly not the leather kind, and was on the super duper last chance clearance...). That's my super high end. But Hermes, Chanel, and Jimmy Choo?!?!

Rockin' Jimmy Choo

Anyway, I was over at my friend's house yesterday and I toured her closet! :) She's back and forth to France quite a bit and is a buyer of sorts for ladies in Jakarta (and has her own lovely collection...)

I've never been in these stores, let alone wear their stuff! Well, yesterday, I played dress up with scarves, necklaces, handbags, bracelets.... bring it on! She said she's going to devirginize me. I told her that I think it might hurt (my wallet) too much. But I had a great afternoon! She's awesome. And I love that she's totally a flip-flop, thong wearing girl, too!

What Is This Thing?!?!

2012-02-17T08:48:00.005+08:00

There are some weird bugs here on the island of Borneo. Is that a feather from my pillow?!?! No, it's a bug.... when it's not moving, it looks like a little feather. When moving, well, it's just weird! I've googled... can't figure it out. Sophia says it's like a caterpillar and makes you itchy if you touch it. I just hope it stays outside. I already have a gecko living under the kitchen sink.

Exciting News! And A Secret Announcement!

2012-02-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

Two great things happened in the past week.... we moved into our house and our cargo was delivered! Can you say, perfect timing?!?!?

Goodbye, Aston Hotel. I will miss sitting on the balcony overlooking the ocean and the village. However, I will not miss eating off that menu (how can an Indonesian hotel cook up such bad Indonesian food?!?!?!)!! Or having to get dressed to go get breakfast. I'm just not a fan of mingling with people early in the mornings. I will also not miss the "ding dong, ding dong" door bell while staff tried to "attend" to us. Hello, do you see the "do not disturb" button?!?! Or the ants. Or the leaky air conditioner. But, I will say..... the wait was worth it. We have a house! And a lovely one at that....

A photo, you say? Um, well, errrrr, you just have to wait. I can show you my keys! Why can't I show you the photos of the house?!?! Uh..... because House Hunters International is filming again in a couple weeks and can't spoil it! Yep... it started back when we were leaving PNG when I got an email.... A producer found my blog and they hadn't filmed an episode for Borneo!! So, I've filmed with them already and need to finish it up! So fun!! Oh, the crazy things I do!! :) See, not everything makes it on this blog! ;)

And cargo.... We couldn't have planned it better. Seriously, 6 days after getting the keys to the house, the cargo arrived yesterday. The boxes were just a mess. Smooshed, retaped. They've taken a beating in the 4 months it took to get from Lae to Balikpapan. But it was a bit like Christmas. Damian was in Jakarta, but Sophia (our pembantu, aka maid) and I unpacked nearly everything. It's a bit surreal to realize that everything I own.... everything... were part of these boxes. It really isn't much. 35 boxes (less about 10 boxes for specialty items). It's funny that even as I was opening boxes, some stuff I right away put in the "give away" pile. You really need less than you think you do. Although, perhaps I need to remind myself when I go to buy another tote bag.... :)

Used to be a side table... (sigh...)

I was all giddy, ripping open the crap tape to unveil my lost treasures.... and then I came upon box #13. It was sideways, semi-crushed, with a new taped piece of cardboard "lid". I opened it.... and... pull out a random piece of wood. Uh-oh. This is not good. Another piece of wood. Of course, the most damaged box had to be the one with most of our PNG artifacts. Seven pieces total broken.

Damian thinks he can repair/salvage most of them. The side table, I'm going to take to a local furniture maker/repair shop. One bowl is going to have to have a funeral. The rest will just have to be glued with the various shards of wood found at the bottom of the box. After some searching, I did find the crocodile's tail. The tooth is still missing.

I forgot how much PNG stuff Damian and I had between the two of us.... masks, bilums, bowls, baskets, pottery, paintings. The stuff is really special to me. I'm not sure if/when I'll ever get back to PNG, but I treasure these items!

Anyway, the house is all coming together. I'm off to find people to professionally frame and mount my PNG paintings today. Lots of errands to settle in the house and make it a home. :)

Balikpapan Shopping (Prices)

2012-02-14T18:14:00.002+08:00

I did this when I was in PNG and people seemed to find it helpful... so here we go... some things I've bought recently and I've been able to dig out my receipts from the bottom of my purse.... Prices in Rp, of course... (Currently exchange rate to USD is about .8935). Um, well, these are the things I can decipher, anyway... the receipts are a lot of half Indonesian/half "general" purchase descriptions... but here's the best I can do for now...

Hypermart:
Rice cooker 548,900
Chocolate chip bread 11,000
Nescafe canned mocha (small cans) 6,500/ea.
Tropicana small bottle juice 5,350/ea.
Strawberry Haagen Das ice cream (pint) 117,700
Coke Zero (10 pack of small cans) 79,900
Coke (6 pack of small cans) 24,900
Hershey's syrup 69,975
Plastic container (Lock n Lock) 37,000

Hero:
Garbage bags (small) 7,9000
Tonic Water (can) 5,890/ea.
Goldfish crackers 39,900
Indo brand crackers 12,450
3 avocados 27,741
Lettuce (4 small heads) 23, 697
Onions (2 small) 3,398
Tomatoes (3 small) 8,248
Mango (1) 4,144
Green apples (2) 10,637
Strawberries (small pack) 17,950
Carrots (about 6 big ones) 21,890
Silver Queen candy (cashews covered in dark chocolate... my favorite... x2) 14,380
Cling wrap 30,790
Aluminum foil 24,990
Sauerkraut (can) 38,690
Jar of olives 42,290
Garbanzo beans (chick peas) 36,390
White vinegar 35,290
Butter 27,950
Cream corn (can) 16,990
Whipping Cream 28,950
Pecans (small snack packages) 27,290
Hand soap (pump bottle) 16,990
Pistachios (cheapest medium size bag) 49,090
Snack mix (large bag) 57,550
Colgate toothpaste (medium size) 24,990
Emery board 9,995
Nutmeg (from Java) 23,890
Sea Salt (from Java) 22,690
Chili Powder (from Java) 18,090

Royal Delicatessen (small shop that carries meat and imported goods)
Sour Cream 20,000
Cream Cheese 50,000
Chicken breasts (frozen two pack) 22,500
Minced beef from Aussie (1 kg) 82,000
Pine nuts 154,000
Tahini 62,000
Caesar Salad Dressing 33,800
Cream Italian Salad Dressing 38,000
Balsamic Salad Dressing 56,000
Stewed Tomatoes (can) 28,750
Desiccated coconut 12,000
Pumpkin ravioli (frozen package) 72,000
Beef ravioli (frozen package ) 83,500
Arnotts Shapes Chedder 39,000
Brown sugar (500g) 44,600
Meat Pies (frozen small, pack of 2) 44,600

A local shop:
Clothing rack 320,000

Central:
Bedding set (imported 180x200) 1,181,000
Plate set (20 piece set) 1,240,000
Cereal (imported) 73,400
Box of tissues 12,000

Foodmart:
Sambal 4,250
Tomato Sauce 4,125
Frozen chicken strips 47,550
Plastic container (food storage) 77,500
Oregano 26,400
White pepper 33,750
Sunflower Oil 900 ml 36,650
Fabric softener 14,825
Smoked Beef package 39,600
Macaroni noodles 18,975
UHT milk 13,350
Frozen french fries 15,500
Medium size wok 134,900

Lottemart:
Honey roasted peanuts (10 pack x 20g) 12,681
Candle holder (votive x2) 11,800
Tealights (10 pack) 8,636
Ice cream scooper (metal) 15,364
Dishrack 113,545

Jim's Modern Living
A nice skillet/pan 445,000
Good "slicer" knife (or the best you can get in Balikpapan) 617,647
Good "utility" knife 500,000
Good "chef's" knife 676,471

Ace Hardware:
Universal plug adapter with USB 54,900
Plain (cheap) universal plug adapter 14,900
Mop 69,100
Laundry basket 74,600
Lingerie mesh laundry bag 21,100
Murphy Oil Soap for wood floor 85,500
Lidded trash can for bathroom 131,000
Steel safe (small) 599,500
Knife holder 63,900
Glass Pint Jars (4) 73,700

Informa (kind of like Ikea)
Electronic kitchen scale (half off) 162,000
Alarm clock 139,000
Silverware (set of 6) 540,000

KFC:
Twisty, small fries, and small Pepsi 30,000

Upik Padang (favorite local padang restaurant)
Two servings rice, six orders beef rendang, and two sides veggies 104,000

Bombay Curry House
1 serve of chicken and spinach 56,000
Garlic naan bread 20,900

Happy 115th, Balikpapan!

2012-02-12T17:59:00.000+08:00

Today was the celebration for Balikpapan's 115th anniversary (Kota Balikpapan ke-115). Unfortunately, the weather did not cooperate for the parade, but it didn't stop the crowd from coming! Eh, what's a little rain?!?!

I couldn't believe how many floats were made for the event and how many different people were represented. Groups from various Indonesian islands had their own floats and many companies also had their own.

What I love about this culture is that they truly appreciate their culture. The festivities, the families, the food. They enjoy sharing information and telling us "bules" about traditions and meanings. It's so rich.

I had a ball today with my driver. He explained the different floats and different groups... the Dayak tribes, the Javanese, the Balinese, the East Kalimantan and West Kalimantan... he told me about one group that get in such a trance when they dance that they eat live chickens. Luckily there were none around.

We were major stuck in traffic after, but worth it. Balikpapans know how to celebrate!

At the end of the parade, there were a TON of VW's. Apparently there is a VW car club here and they lined them all up at the end. First all the Beetles, and then the Buses. Between the old VW's and all the Vespas around, it's a bit retro here. Very cool.

Rumors....

2012-02-11T20:37:00.001+08:00

I heard rumors about a secret bar.... some elusive, men's only, invite only bar, where everything is paid. Eh, rumors...

I heard things like there are men servers because no women are allowed, even to serve.... I heard that once you're invited, you're to donate all your unused liquor to the bar as well as buy more when you leave Balikpapan... but then I've also heard that you're to use your 1 liter duty free on all your flights to bring in alcohol as "member dues"... I've heard that once you're invited, you're always welcome... But then someone else said you're only invited when you're invited. I've heard it's bare bones and a "man's bar", but also heard that there's no place like it in Balikpapan. I've heard rumors... oh, the rumors!

So, I get a text last week from Damian that he and his boss were invited out for drinks the night before his boss was moving to Jakarta. They were going to the "Loser's Bar".... I made no connection. And yet, after he got home, he was telling me that it was the men's only, invite only bar... ooooo.... is he feeling special?!?! (eyeroll....) He had a lovely time... premium scotch.

Anyway, the guy that owns this "secret bar" invited me (and Damian) to go to a work-related, soft launching for one of his businesses. I was looking forward to going as he has some possible work for me and it would give us an opportunity to discuss it a bit more. (Sounds promising....).

Anyway, Damian was stuck in Jakarta. I went, I mingled, I ate (the most delicious tempeh), and drank the free piss. I got a goodie bag with mugs (yeah! cargo has yet to arrive!). I did not win any of the door prizes (darn, I could use a dvd player... lol!), but a good time was had by all.

As the evening was dying down, the owner invited me for some post drinks at the "LB". I said, "I'm a girl, I didn't think I'd be allowed!". Well, so much for rumors.... I, of course, said yes!!

So, I'll clear up some rumors... It's invite only because the owner owns it and opens it when he wants to open it. (I'm unsure of how the copious amounts of liquor come to be there, but, frankly, I don't care....!!)

Whoever attends and ends up behind the bar serves.... the bartender changed several times throughout the night... Frankly, I liked being served by the men. Ta!

It's made of shipping containers, yep, bare bones, but quite aesthetically apealing. I like the sports paraphernalia. It reminds me of Jack's Bar in Lae.

The beer and spirits are free flowing... free. No charge. Bring it on.... (Um, thankfully, I chose sipping vodka and made it last....)

There were two of us girls that were invited! (Ah, so I'm not special?!?! LOL!). Yeah, rumors, whatever. Chicks (apparently on very special occasions) are invited, too!

I had a ball.... Many of the boys were going to Joys after. I, in my wise decisions, passed on that, and had my driver take me home just before the stroke of midnight (in which my glass slippers, or in this case, my strap-on penis, was lost....).

Dim Sum... Yum Yum

2012-02-07T08:55:00.002+08:00

Sunday we went to the Blue Sky Hotel to have Dim Sum. Mmm mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. I've heard about their Sunday Dim Sum and have been wanting to go. I mentioned it to one of Damian's coworkers Friday night and he said, yep 12:30. What? Um, okay....

Well, it turns out we had a nice, big group of people who knew what they were doing. Since we met there later (it starts at 10 am), they texted ahead and ordered fresh everything that we would want. (Otherwise, they would just circulate the trays that have been out...).

I ate dumplings and pot stickers and stuff wrapped with leaves. Bring it all on... well, except the chicken feet that Damian tried and well, I just passed on, thanks.

And I met some great new people. We had a full table! I love that I can be sitting in Indonesia, eating Chinese food, talking with a Frenchman about his family's winery, while sitting next to his Indonesian wife who lived in California for a bit working for Wells Fargo (I used to work for a company that was bought out by Wells Fargo). Throw in a few more Indonesians, a couple of Aussies, and an American and you have Sunday brunch in Balikpapan. Good time!

Wow, What a Week!

2012-02-05T11:10:00.003+08:00

Another week has gone by! I'm still recovering, but trying to get out and do stuff. The worst is the mornings where I feel it takes me 20 minutes to move and stretch and just "get going". But good stuff. Zero pain meds and finally able to sleep through the night.

My body in general is just swollen, so my "comfy" clothes this week have consisted of wearing Damian's underwear, and anything else that wouldn't rub the scars. My jeans are out of the question, so leggings, bike shorts, and/or skirts/dresses have been my wardrobe. Eh, one day at a time....

Yesterday, I went to a shrimp broil (sorry, it was held by an American at his house, so the "shrimp boil" name stands....). I was chatting to a "bar fly" guy that has been here for ages.... an Aussie guy that is pretty much is as open as I am about life. He's got a story to tell, if you're willing to listen. I like him and apparently I'm the first American girl he's ever tolerated... In fact, he says he actually likes me. And from him, that says a lot. ;)

Anyway, we're chatting... blah, blah... I lean my knee against the porch railing... blah, blah... and then I go to move and I'm stuck. Like full on stuck. (You know when you've ever tried to get a ring off and you have that immediate sense of panic?!?!... Yep...)

I tried to act cool, but it was stuck. Random swelling in the wrong body part in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wiggled and flexed my knee, moved my leg, wiggled my toes. Shit. I asked Greg to hold my beer. He realized how stuck I was. Shit. I. Was. Stuck. What will work? Soap? Vaseline? KY? A saw?!?! (KY was out of the question, as there was a blow up doll in the pool with a noodle through her... apparently before I arrived it took the boys a half an hour to get it in... see what happens when you're out of KY?)

I was looking down below with everyone and thinking, that Tim, who's house this was, and who does quite a bit of outside work to keep it updated and nice (frankly, it's one of my favorite houses - not "flash" in terms of Balikpapan; quite the contrary - but for some reason, I just like the style and vibe of the house.) Well, I'm thinking he's going to kill me if there's "deconstruction" of the porch involved.

I played it cool, and finally was able to get my knee out. Luckily no one else seemed to know and just figured Greg and I were having another long "life" chat up on the balcony.... swapping stories of lessons learned the hard way... whether through advanced "education" or gastric bypass or by prison time. It doesn't matter. The journey and the end result is what matters. Lesson learned.

Anyway, I saw him again last night at Damian's boss's family's goodbye party (they're officially off to be based out of Jakarta and I will miss them! Good people.). Anyway, Greg and I had a lovely dance and, thankfully, the house had no railings to put my knee through! It was a late night, but great time. Kids were everywhere with chocolate fondue covering their clothes! (I also ended up at the fondue fountain several times throughout the evening....). Insanely delicious food, a live band, and good friends. It was a fantastic night.

Mid-way through decorations!

It really has been a full on few days. Damian's birthday was Friday, so I sent out an email to a few guys to meet up at Yuli's Bar for some drinks. Well, Billy and Yuli (and really it was all Ochy!!!) went all out with balloons, cake, fresh crabs, and copious amounts of Jack Daniel's! I had to laugh when the wife of a new expat couple (been here 10 days... what I love about expatting is that you're never the newbie for long!) said, "Wow, he's such a great dancer!" Ha! Damian says he can tell how drunk I am when I'm dancing on how far my arms go up in the air. For him, it's what music he will dance to and how long he will dance. Let's just say that he danced with all the ladies continuously and danced to country music! Eh, a birthday comes once a year. Fun night!

I've only been back in Balik a week, and I've had staples out and follow up doctor visits, attended three parties, danced, resumed private language lessons, shopped for some stuff for our soon to be house (hello, cargo is nearly here.... it's been released from Jakarta!). I'm healing, but still taking it slow (no, when I danced, I was not inebriated, nor did my arms go up in the air!).

Living life. Feeling good. Happy.

The Books I Read and My First Apple Rant

2012-01-29T21:36:00.001+08:00

I have to admit, I kind of like "shallow" books. I do like the occasional "heavy" book like Shantaram, but I normally lean toward pop psychology (Malcolm Gladwell style); travelogue humor (those similar to those of J. Maarten Troost); tweeny girly books - hello - bring on the Twilight series; or the ultimate combination thereof - chick/travel/psych - aka Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love and/or Committed. Throw in an occasional good fiction of Michael Palmer or Dan Brown or even a bit of romance like Sandra Brown, and I'm good. (Oh, and let's not forget the occasional girl erotica... hello Megan Hart!)

I used to be too busy to read many "fun" books (and tried audio books on work commutes ages and ages ago, but I had a hard time navigating beltway traffic and staying with the book...), but I digress.... I've always had textbooks to read... hello, four degrees.... pleasure reading? I think I remember you...

Anyway, while I was perusing a used bookstore on my last trip to the States, I jotted down a couple of books I wanted to read (I've learned not to waste precious luggage weight on books... no, no, my fun books are downloadable, the newest flavors of granola bars and soy wasabi almonds take luggage preference now....). Anyway, Racing In the Rain was one of them. Good, quick read. While in KL, I downloaded another one of the books - The Geography of Bliss. I'm midway through Moldova. (So far, right up my alley of pop psych and travel humor!)

Damian went off to Jakarta this arvo for a few days. Last minute, he took the iPad. All cool. I synched it when I got back yesterday! My plan while he's away? To get the remainder of my staples out and to rest. I feel better with every day passing- today I even walked (slowly) down to the mall pharmacy and back! :) But, yeah, a few more days of rest are in order. Hello, book....

I climb in bed to rest... and take my Mac to read. WTF? iBooks doesn't let you read it on the computer?!?!!? Not that I ever thought I'd read books on the laptop, but I do know I can with my Kindle books. GRRR!!!!

I could go dig out my old Kindle. I frankly dismissed the piece of technology when I got my precious iPad!!! But, I think I have a book or two I haven't read on there yet (downloaded a bunch of free books a while ago). Where is my Kindle??? Grr. Wait, hmm... I think my Kindle is actually synched to the other laptop. Oh, I can just download the reader for the Mac. But I'm just not in the mood now! I wanted my Bliss book!

Oh, whatever.... I still have a few episodes of Nip/Tuck I haven't watched yet....

Tattoos, Pretzels, Infinity, and Closure

2012-01-28T23:19:00.001+08:00

Gotta love a doctor's office that is literally in the middle of the world-renown shopping district, Orchard Road. :) After my appointment yesterday, I walked around Paragon (where his office is located) and then across the street to Ngee Ann City. I walked in the doors, and there it was.... Tiffany's.

Every time I see a Tiffany's sign or store I always think about the pretzel (as you may recall in my way earlier blog post.) I've been pining for it for as long as it's probably been released.

I walked in. First display. Charms. I see the pretzel. My pretzel.

The sales lady comes over and asks if she could help. Um.... no, just looking, thanks. I briefly walk around the store and back to the counter on the way out. I stop. I asked her if I could look at it. She unlocks the case and pulls it out. Asks if it would be for a bracelet or necklace. Um... necklace, I say. She puts it on the chain and then on me. All the while, asking about my day, etc. And I told her I was in Singapore for medical, just finishing things off in KL, and on my way home to Balik. Just chit chat. She was friendly.

And then I looked up in the mirror and saw it. My pretzel. How far I've come since I got that stupid tattoo when I was 18. And I realized that I just had the last of 4 surgeries to get me to where I am today. I am... done. I'm healthy (pending whack coccyx) in body, mind, and spirit.

I said I'd take it (last one in stock, she says!). I didn't even ask her the price. Frankly, it didn't matter. It represents closure. Priceless.

I walked over to the register area where she was getting information so I could claim back GST at the airport and I glanced down into another case. The lady stopped as suddenly as I stopped, as she must have realized the crazy look on my face.

I asked her if I could look at that bracelet. Yes, that one with the infinity sign. She put it on me. I swear I nearly started to cry. I said I would take that, too. (I love you, infinity, I win....). I miss my girls everyday.

She asked whether to box the items or if I wanted to wear them out. I asked to wear the bracelet, but to box the charm and necklace. (Is is crazy that I wanted the whole package?!?! I wanted to experience the undoing of the white ribbon?!?!). She tied the bow just right on the perfect little blue box. Then she put it in the bag along with the extra box for my bracelet. I paid and left the store, never feeling quite so happy.

Hmmm, maybe there's something to retail therapy after all! ;) I will treasure these items, as there are no better representations about my journey and where I am today. Closure. It feels good! I will wear these pieces and be proud of who I am and how far I've come. A perfect ending!

Specialist Visit

2012-01-28T06:57:00.000+08:00

The doctor was great. I went pretty early to the appointment and was able to go right in and see him. The doctor's office is at the medical area in Paragon, across from Orchard Road. Super easy to walk there from the York Hotel.

I go in, and, well, Singapore doctor offices aren't quite like those in the States! It was small, but lovely. Looked like half an Apple store, with the big computers ready for you to use their Internet. And yummy coffee machine! And lots of glass cases filled with awards, photos, and models of boney medical parts. And lots of newspaper articles framed on the walls. But I'm never easily impressed by the superficial....

The office was super efficient, but one form? Just my contact details? Yep. That was it. Okay..... Then im called in. The doctor took my own medical history! And we started from the beginning! I was reluctantly impressed. I've been through this too many times before to get too excited. But, yeah, good. Really good. The thing is, he listened. He asked me questions, and we went through it all. He examined me and sent me for X-rays downstairs.

Opinion, results, and tentative plan: One, he was happy I had the butt lift and repair. He hopes that it may give it the support it needs not to flex. Second, happy I've tried all the treatments and have done my research. Did suggest that it may be worthwhile to have a steroid injection while having an manipulation, although he is also concerned with the number of cortison injections I've had over the years. I'm to gather the rest of my medical records so we can get a good count (plus the one that was done at home). Third, we need to wait until the surgery site heals to see if it actually does make a difference. He wants me to wait 6 weeks then get another MRI (and send my old MRI and X-rays in the meantime). I'll need to follow back up with him then. Manage acute attacks as needed, but let's see final result.

After reviewing my X-rays, he showed me how angular my coccyx is formed. He showed me a "normal" one, which has way more of a gentle slope. Mine also just seems to protrude more than normal (which he's hoping the butt lift and cleft repair will help give it cushion and stability).

He is certainly not knife-happy. He said very little is known about coccyxdinia, but the surgery has issues. Many people have chronic scar pain after. The issue to balance is whether mine becomes so severe that I accept that risk. I say YES! But he says, let's just see. (yeah, smart, I know).

I am actually quite happy to have had my worst flexing/dislocation/movement of my coccyx while in KL. I've never had an ER visit over it before, but it triggered things to start falling in place. As long as I can limit the flare ups and control it, I probably need to face the fact that I will have at least some chronic pain forever - whether via coccyx pain or via surgery site pain. But, it's manageable. What's not manageable is when it moves! OW!!!! I've done the right thing with this surgery, so time will tell if this will be the thing that puts me over the edge of manageability or whether we'll exhaust the last few options before KNIFE!

He reviewed my pain medicine, which was all good. Hopefully, I can ween off it (already started!) and resume my life and see how it all goes. But I came away feeling like I at least have someone that really understands my problem, and is a direct flight away! Crossing my fingers I'm on my way to healing.... Right now I'm on my way home!

Singapore And The Bitchy Girl

2012-01-26T16:45:00.003+08:00

The airline staff was great and then the guy that sat in front of me on the plane (and overheard my conversations with flight attendants who were overly doting, but kind), actually carried my bag out for me. An expat now in KL, but used to work in POM. Small world. Super helpful!

I'm now at the hotel (York), which is where Dame and I were on our first trip through Singapore. I'm glad I know where I am and am able to walk to the doctor's office tomorrow. I'm feeling good (and optimistic!). But, I must rant... Well, because I'm still Dr. Wendy and that's what I do.... Hmmm, must be feeling better! Ha!

While waiting to board the plane, this young woman moves goes right through everyone and tries to board. The staff had to tell her not yet. She goes and sits down in front of me (I'm standing, for obvious reasons!). She calls her boyfriend, and the conversation went something like this:

OMG! Baby, baby, did I wake you? I'm soooo sorry! Those stupid airport people scratched my bag! (as she petted her very large Prada bag). I see a scratch! OMG!! They just put it up on that machine and they don't even care! I need to put it in the protective bag. They just don't get it! It happens every time! (goes on, and on, and on about the bag. Kill me.)

Mmmm hmmm. And they just throw my watch in the basket! It's more than they even earn! (as she crosses her legs to expose her Jimmy Choo 6 inch heels). (don't know about you, but if I have to take off jewelry, I put it in my own damn basket!)

I know! And I'm soooooo hungry. No, I don't have time to go to the lounge. Well, maybe I could go back through. (flight literally boarding in 2 minutes). I'm soooo hungry. Ha! They'd just have to wait for me!

Yeah! Oh, ewwww! This guy is soooo gross. You should see him. He cannot sit near me. (flip hair then puts on eye cream).

Oh, we're starting to board....finally!! OMG! I've been here waiting forever! Oh god, first the cripples are boarding.... (a kid in a wheelchair with a broken foot with parents and two siblings).
Seriously, I could have bitch slapped the girl. Frankly, I almost said something after the cripple comment, but she obviously would not have taken any comment well and I was in no condition to go toe-to-toe with her. On a day that I hadn't just been released from a hospital, I would have taken her on, but I just walked away.... in front of her (ha!)... as the "cripples" were called before business class, or whatever "class" she was in.

Sometimes it just amazes me. I've spent 11 days with the most amazing nurses and 10 minutes listening to one of the most bitchiest people I've encountered in quite a while. All cool if you want to spend your money on an expensive stuff - your perogative - but to act like airport security should bubble wrap it for you and kiss your ass?!?! Get over yourself! Charter your own damn plane if you're really that special...
Thank you. Rant over.

Official Review of "GG" and PCMC

2012-01-26T07:28:00.004+08:00

Okay, so now that I'm officially getting out of Kuala Lumpur (currently waiting for airport pick up), I can give my official review of "Gorgeous Getaways" and the Prince Court Medical Center.

Gorgeous Getaways - Or, "GG" as they like to call themselves. In order to have plastic surgery here, you have to go through an agent. Anyway, a friend referred me to them and they're world-wide known for coordinating care. When I first inquired I had questions (many specifically about my coccyx) and what reassured me about the company was they called me to answer them all versus going back and forth in emails. I felt pretty confident after all my research that the doctor and hospital were a good match for me. The (sales) agent in Oz started off helpful. A couple of key issues came up, though.

Because I closed my credit card in PNG and yet to get one in Indonesia and other pending to be mailed from Australia, I had to deal with cash. They actually recommend you wire the money to the hospital ahead of time, which is a great plan, no? So I said this is what I wanted to do for at least the procedures I knew I would have - pending butt lift/cleft repair after consultation with the surgeon. The agent in Australia was like, um, no. Payment must be received 2 weeks ahead of time at the hospital. I questioned this several times as I had just missed the "2 weeks" mark. I asked about using someone else's credit card instead, but (obviously) I must have my own with own signature. She suggested US traveler's checks. Um, no. Dude, living in Balikpapan, does she realize how much trouble I had to even cash traveler's checks? I'd have to convert Rp to USD then to Ringgit. With that much money, how much would I lose in conversion? I went round and round for a couple more days. The rep was getting pretty snippy with the emails telling me to bring cash. Seriously? Cash? WTF? She was serious. No other option given. Finally, I just emailed the hospital directly. Super helpful. I wired the money in the morning, they confirmed they received it in the afternoon. Done. Screw "GG" and their policy. Dr. Wendy does it her way.
My other issue is the hotel issue. Now, you don't pay GG directly. They're an agent who gets a kick back from their "preferred" three hotels they service and the hospital gives them a kick back. I would imagine that most of their money is made by the hotel, but not sure. I knew my surgery would be at least 3 nights in the hospital, and possible for 2 surgeries. I asked the agent about why I had to book 14 day in hotel. Policy. They have minimum stays for surgery (either 1, 2 or 3 weeks depending on procedure(s). Ok, I get that. But, can I check in/out? No. Book 14 days. What's included is 3 post op days where a nurse comes to change dressings and check on you. GG also provides the airport transfers and coordinates care with the hospital. I didn't fight this, although I had reservations. I booked the cheapest accommodation, which was just under A$1500. Yes, the hotel was set up to have a comfortable stay with kitchen, etc. And staff understood you needed special care. All good. My biggest issue is that I was in the hotel for exactly 3.5 nights (the last one ending in the ER visit). As I told the local representative, when someone comes by themselves, there's no need for empty hotel room. She said most come with someone or if by themselves, have small treatments and back in hotel in one or two nights. Lovely. But I'm not that case. Think outside of the box, sales agent lady in Australia.... The freaking hospital is only 150 ringgit per night and that includes 3 meals and 24/7 nurse care! Yeah, if someone is coming by themselves, probably makes a lot more sense to have the hospital charge extra and keep them under their care until they're able to fly home. Just future lesson to anyone wanting to do this alone....
My last and final issue is the local representative. She's new, so I should really cut her some slack. But, frankly, she was kind of... obnoxious. (All the other staff that I encountered were fine. Their staff nurse was very bubbley, albeit very young, but did do good job in changing dressings (although she lost my receipt and my change? Wasn't much in USD, but really?!?!), and the other rep was ok. Mine was just.... I just don't think she's suited to the job). She wore these flip flop heels and I could hear her coming down the hall towards my room. I would just cringe. She was "required" to check on me, but she was more of just an annoyance. She's supposed to be my errand person and organization person. Even with my fist appointment with the surgeon, he snapped his photos and all was good. She's "positioning" me for my "before" photos like it's some naked photo shoot. Seriously, lady, get the freak out of my way. I'm not here for Glamour Shots. I'm here to get my ass repaired and my skin removed. I'm sure she was trying and I was her first client by herself. But then add in the Chinese New Year, in which she took a holiday and I had another rep (yeah!), she just... well, made me uncomfortable. Made comments that I wasn't eating enough, then tried to make me sit down (um...no!). Once even went behind one of the nurses dressing me and tried to "help" yank up the surgical garment... NO! DO NOT TOUCH ME!!! One day, I know I was rude.... she walked in and I was like, CAN I HELP YOU?!?! I just needed her to leave me alone! When she went on holiday, the other rep would pop in, check on me, and pop out. She just said if I needed anything to have the nurses call her. Fantastic. My lady always seemed to be anxious and fidgety, which does not bode well for someone relying on them to coordinate care.

I have to say that the staff at PCMC said that GG is the best agent. And, actually, they seem to be quite good and organized. I think they'll just find that this chick isn't probably suited for the job. She would ask the doctor questions, try to "help" the nurses with bandages.... seriously, lady. Step away. STEP AWAY. But, overall, I'm glad I went through the agent as they were the link to PCMC and Dr. Nasir... now to that review...

Prince Court Medical Center - Let me first say that this hospital is awesome. From the people checking you in, to the guy that takes your food order each day, the staff is amazing. The nurses.... I've never had better care. They've wiped my tears and my ass. I woke up from the second surgery with a nurse holding my hand. Just kind, compassionate people. Whatever 3 years of training they get, they know what they're doing. They would explain the drugs, talk about pain issues, just everything. I absolutely cannot find a single fault with any nurse in this hospital. And I was here 11 nights in two different wards. Two best moments.... After I don't know how many days of sponge baths I got up to shower. I just wanted to wash my hair. A nurse rolled up her scrubs, semi- walked in the shower with me, told me to hold on the railing, close my eyes, and pretend I was at a spa... she shampooed my head like some professional. She said it always made her feel better. She was right. Then, when I was getting out (60!) staples, one nurse plucked while another held my hand, talking to me, distracting me, asking me questions and just making me laugh through it. You can't buy that sort of care. They are natural, compassionate nurses. Kudos to the entire nursing staff.

And Dr. Nasir... From what I read on the internet, the biggest complaint was that he doesn't have much time with his patients. Very true. He is a busy man. But he was excellent. He absolutely knows what he's doing and he's busy! From our first appointment, where he looked at my butt. "Yes, deep cleft, needs repair. I know what the ortho docs need me to do." Done. Seriously. Snap a few photos, sign some consent forms and surgery scheduled in a few hours. That's how he rolls. No bells, no whistles. No need. When you know you have someone confident in their skills, what more do you need? I need handholding from a nurse on an occasion? Sure. From the surgeon? I want someone that can do a good job. The nurses even called him nearly midnight one night due to my migraines. He answered the phone and prescribed medicine and followed up with me the next morning. No complaints. He even followed up again when I was readmitted with the coccyx pain. Highly recommend him.

So, there you have it.... I'm ready to get out of here. Glad no more plastic surgery needed! Ever! Everything is done. Butt cleft is repaired, thighs are trim, arms are good. Now, just need the coccyx out. If only PCMC had a specialist. Even the ortho doc here was great. Basically said, "I don't have a clue..." and wrote me a referral letter. Have to really appreciate a doctor that can just say it's beyond their limit. If PCMC can do it, they will. If they can't, they'll manage your pain until they can figure out other options. Anyway, my trip to KL is complete. Time to head to the airport with a bag full of drugs, patches, and letters of referral.

I AM A Pain In The Ass!

2012-01-25T22:08:00.001+08:00

My discharge papers.... LOL.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back, One Step Forward Again

2012-01-25T20:12:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I'm naively optimistic. I was feeling good, all packed, ready to fly home. I climb in bed for an early sleep.... All good.... And then I roll over just the wrong way and.... PAIN. Coccyx pain. Sharp, radiating coccyx pain that I've encountered far too often. It shoots up through your body like someone literally put a nail in the tailbone.

I had already taken the pain medicine before bed. I tried to suck it up. Crying like a girl alone in a hotel doesn't cut it, so I had to do something. I ended up calling the 24 hour nurse and she said I could take a second dose of medicine. Did that. Waited. Paced around hotel room. The pain medication is supposed to knock you out. You know you're in real pain when it doesn't phase you. 2 am, 3 am, I'm googling coccyx doctors. I'm calling insurance phone numbers. I need help.

Down to last few bits of power on laptop and iPad (duh me forgot universal adapter and at least while I was in hospital, they plugged me up to their USB each night!). I called from the hotel to insurance company and was disconnected. Heart sinks. What to do... What to do.... Phone rings back from Hong Kong. They tell me to go to the ER. I call the concierge. They call a cab. I literally half stood while the driver took me to the hospital. Luckily, it's minutes away. 5 am on the hospital steps.

The insurance company already called the hospital to expect me. I was taken straight in. No, thank you, I do no want to sit on a wheel chair! Please DO NOT make me sit! Flat on my tummy on the stretcher. It took several tries to get a central line, but then they immediately gave me pain medicine. They freely admitted that they weren't experienced with coccyx but would have me be seen by the ortho doctor. Very nice guy, but basically said he's given an injection once, but that's it. We started with pain management. What a day can do....

Pump me full of drugs, rest, and take a much needed shit.* I feel so much better. I think the bone just moved and got dislocated. It happens. It happened on the boat several weeks ago. It's happened when I've bent over to tie shoes. It just happens. Pain shoots through my body and then it subsides after several hours. Sucks. This time just didn't coordinate with me getting on my flight to go home.

Anyway, I was feeling pretty miserable and sad and frustrated. Then I get an email from the SOS people trying to track me down since my insurance call. I emailed them back and then they called the hospital. I talked for a while to the doctor and she was so helpful. She got it. I have an advocate!

Next thing you know, I have an appointment with a spinal specialist in Singapore (who has done coccyxgectomy). I'm on the first flight out tomorrow (with patches and pills). I'm so optimistic to talk with a doctor that gets this. Singapore is way closer than Brisbane where the only other doctor I've found is located. Yippee. I just need it out!

Insurance anywhere is often complicated and difficult. Add in expat life, and can be hard. Just as I was organizing my coccyx surgery with the random specialist that came to PNG, we move to Indonesia. Start over. New insurance. Oh, wait, now new year, new insurance again. And medical records? Relating to my coccyx, I now have records in 4 countries. After Friday's appointment, it will be 5! Anyway, I'm optimistic again. Just get me on the plane to Singapore and get me in front of this specialist!

I don't know what I would do without everyone coordinating today. Between the staff here in Kuala Lumpur, the staff in Balikpapan that found the Singapore doctor and gathering my medical records, SOS coordinating my care, and Damian dealing with my middle of the night - I'm going to the ER - I don't know what to do and I'm scared emails. Well, let's just say, team effort. I feel helpless and pathetic. BUT, at the moment, my coccyx is in position and I can walk and stand and not cry like a baby. One day at a time....

* TMI to follow..... 11 days narcotic pain medicine that makes you constipated. 11 days nurses telling you to eat so the medicine doesn't upset your stomach. 11 days, no poop. Poop shoot pushes on coccyx. Pain to strain. My first enema. Let me just say..... Relief. Check that off my bucket list. (insert eye roll).

View from my hospital room.... Last night! Singapore here I come!

Bye Hospital, Hello Hotel

2012-01-22T18:49:00.001+08:00

I'm all settled back at the hotel and glad to get out of the hospital. I'm a little worried because the hospital was out of Imigran (they're version of Imitrex) and all the pharmacies are closed for the Chinese New Year. I'm hoping I'm not curled up in the fetal position, vomiting tomorrow morning with a migraine. Ug. Positive thinking, though.

I went to the grocery store before I checked into the hospital to stock on some snacks. I'm sooo glad I did as I opened my fridge and found a Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino. Oh, goodness, I had just posted on Facebook earlier that I was jonsing for an iced coffee. See? Positive thinking. And nothing makes a girl feel better than a piece of Dove chocolate. Yeah, yeah, I bought healthy stuff, too. I have frozen veggies to nuke tomorrow. But now? Ah, I feel better already.

I will say that plastic surgery (aka saggy skin/ fat "reconstructive" surgery) sucks, but I think there is a real benefit to it. Just sorts of put closure on it all. I remember not openly telling people about how fat I was, but then it was really whack when girls would actually make comments about me being "skinny". I guess it hit me about how self conscious we all are about ourselves. I have to just stop and go, "oh, hello, I've lost over half my body weight... Wanna see my fat photo?!?!" I'm not trying to be skinny. I'm just trying not to ever be overweight again. Yes, I eat chocolate. I.... exercise... because I have to (no, I do not enjoy it...).

Anyway, such is life. I'll show my scars now. And my fat photo. Two years ago I hid my passport. Now? Whatever. I guess I had to grow into my "skinny" body, railroad track scars and all. But...um, I have to get my passport redone. I'm sick and tired of being stopped and questioned by every customs agent!

So, I'm just vegging out and can't wait to get back to Balik and heal. I want to go fishing! I want to get out on a boat and get some sun and air. One day at a time... I'm just really, really, really hoping - crossing my fingers and toes - that the surgeon was able to do the butt lift and coccyx cushion flap that will give the support I need to fix my coccyx. I just have this huge fear of getting the tip removed. Time will tell...

In other exciting news, I'm watching The Glee Project (I'm so out of touch with tv that this is probably ages old, but whatever....I've only seen one episode of Glee ever on one of my overnight flights anyway, but I digress....). A chick is wearing red boots. I have a sudden urge to find a mall. Sucks I'm not well enough for that and, by the time I am, I'll be back in Balikpapan, where I doubt there will be red boots. I'll put that on my "want" list for next time I'm out traveling. But, then again, I'm cheap with shoes. My last pair of boots I bought in Australia at Payless. Too bad Singapore airport doesn't have a Payless.... I'm sad, I know.

And Impossibly Glamorous posted a "Dr. Wendy" interview. I live in an odd, odd world.

P.S. Gong Xi Fa Cai! Happy Year of the Dragon! The hotel staff just sent up a gift bag! :)

Almost Free!

2012-01-21T15:41:00.001+08:00

Holy cow, I'm STILL in the hospital. Props to the great staff here. They really are fantastic. Second surgery knocked me back something fierce. The surgeon said everything went great and he was able to lift my butt and put in the flap around my coccyx. All was good on his end, but my body revolted to the second bout of anesthesia.

I don't even remember much of the first two days after! And then I was getting migraines from all the pain medicine. I can tell you that ANYTHING relating to a coccyx hurts like a bitch. The butt lift was fine. I could tell the difference between those staples and the coccyx area repair. Just constant pain. It's hard to describe to anyone that has never had coccyxdinia. By far, it is the most debilitating pain I've ever experienced. Today is actually the first day I can almost sit down. Ug.

Anyway, I saw the doctor this morning, and he cleared me to go back to the hotel tomorrow. I would have never thought this yesterday, but getting the migraines under control has really helped in recovery now. Tomorrow, we're supposed to go over what needs to be done once I get back to Balikpapan. Staple removal. Lovely. I'm already cringing on the thought of it. But.... I've come a long way. I can handle it!

On the bad news side, mom emailed me to tell me my dad's in the hospital back in the States. It's never a good sign when they admit you there, but hopefully he'll have as good as care as I've gotten from the doctors and nurses here in Kuala Lumpur. I wish I could send him some of the non-FDA approved pain drugs.

Bored, Bored, Bored

2012-01-14T19:57:00.001+08:00

I'm still in the hospital, and feeling good. I could have gone back to the hotel, but it's so cheap to just stay in the hospital that it's worth it to get food and help moving around. The healthcare here is really good. The nurses are incredible and I'm just really pleased. Thank goodness I ended up bringing my iPad as tv is just boring. I forgot the plug adapter but the nurses are great in charging it up with the computers out front.

I do find it slightly oxymoronic that I'm eating yummy desserts while recovering from plastic surgery from being fat! Oh well. All in moderation. I'm just glad the food is good. That seems to make healing better when you can eat something good.

And perk to have different drugs. There's a new pain medicine that's yet to FDA approved, but works great for me. I can't take NSAIDS because of gastric bypass, but this is a new drug that works the same. It's Arcoxia. I googled it before I took it and I'm really pleased. I bet this will help with my coccyx, too. I'm going to talk with the doctor about it more, but I'm going to see if I can get a prescription for it. Maybe, just maybe (forever an optimist) between the butt lift that I'll have on Tuesday and this drug, I can hold off on getting my coccyx removed. We'll see. I have a feeling the butt lift is going to hurt way more than the thighs. Uh. I don't want to think about it! One thing at a time....

Hanging Out In Kuala Lumpur

2012-01-11T17:28:00.001+08:00

I was supposed to meet with the surgeon today, but he ended up being busy with another surgery. Anyway, I'll just meet with him in the morning at the hospital when he does his rounds. I have a pick up at 6:45 am, but my surgery isn't scheduled until 3:30. A long day fasting! I get a small morning snack, so maybe just some hotel toast.

I'm staying at the Park Royal, which is more of a serviced condo than a hotel. It works for me quite well, though, as I have a fairly large suite with a furnished kitchen. I think I'll rather wallow in my own ~~misery~~ suite post-surgery and this seems to be quite good for this sort of thing. It is close to tourists stuff if I do feel like venturing out, but we'll see when I get out of the hospital. (I packed four seasons of Nip/Tuck - I have a sick sense of humor - just in case I decide to remain glued to my bed and computer.)

I did end up going to the Pavillion today and do some shopping. Like usual, I found my way to a bookstore (after first stopping to buy some new nail polish... purple and gold colors in the Justin Bieber collection...no comments necessary!! ROFL....). Anyway, I bought two puzzle books for tomorrow (the iPad is staying securely in the hotel safe!) and the Nigella Express cookbook. (Yeah, yeah, joke all you want... I may suck at cooking, but at least I make some interesting culinary attempts....)

Anyway, I bought some groceries too. I'm really thinking I should have brought something bigger than my small carry-on..... So many food choices! I could totally pack a suitcase full of snacks!! Hmmm, oh well. If I feel up to it, I can always go buy a duffle and shop before I go!

Arvo Activities

2012-01-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

I went up to Superblock this afternoon, which is the nice, big mall here in Balik. I was planning on going to the movies, but by the time I got there via the angkots (I gave Sapto the day off), I was late for the showing and just couldn't bring myself to stay for the later one.

I ended up having a late lunch, sitting by myself at a table for four. A family came and sat down next to me, and later, more family arrived, so I shared my chairs and corner of the table, then more family.... Next thing you know, I was sitting at a table for eight with ten people around me. It was all quite funny. The kid that was sitting next to me had another person "take his photo", but clearly, this included me. After the shot, I leaned over to look at the photo and he was embarrassed as I was on to him! So I gave the phone back to the other guy, put my arm around the kid, and smiled for the camera! The whole table just cheered and spoke all too quickly in Indonesian. I asked them to speak slowly and we had a very, very basic conversation. I asked for my bill and was brought the entire bill. This also created an uproar in laughter. They actually offered to pay my bill, but I declined. I got my adjusted bill, paid, and left. Little things like that make me laugh and appreciate the culture of this place. The people are just very friendly.

Like PNG, when you see something you need or want, you better buy it. I've been to I don't know how many apoteks this past week looking for a particular shampoo and found it today at the mall chemist! I bought two. Hmmm, probably should have bought four! Anyway, check it off my list.... It makes me feel like I accomplished something today! :)

I ended up going to the hotel bar and ran into the couple that I bought all the appliances from! I met some lovely people (sort of a goodbye get together?) and stayed too long. Only two drinks, but with getting over being sick, I'm just still a bit tired.... Off to bed! But holy cow, the wind is WHIPPING tonight! It's rattling the windows! Crazy!

Operation "Lift My Bits - Part II"

2012-01-08T18:57:00.007+08:00

So, Damian is off for some male bonding time with his boys. While he's away, I've got my own little project... Operation "Lift My Bits - Part II". Destination? Kuala Lumpur. I head off Tuesday, so I'm glad I'm finally feeling better.

I've had Operation "Lift My Bits - Part I" done back December 2009, but let's just say that losing that much weight requires a Part II. So, with Damian gone, I figured I'd do some research and go get this done. Frankly, I don't even know exactly what all I'm going to have nipped and tucked. I've got some ideas, but I need to talk to the surgeon in person. He knows about my coccyx, and we've been talking recreating booty cushion, but I'm still not sure if I should have it removed first. Thighs are definitely on the list.

I have a feeling that I'll need one final "Lift My Bits", but I'm hoping that this one covers most of my issues. Crossing my fingers, anyway. I know this will suck, but it will be worth it when it's done and I'm fully recovered (ug, which will be months though...).

I had emailed my Ph.D. advisor about a fat photo, as the only thing I really have is my passport (which I'm harassed about every time I go through immigration and customs.... Reminder: I must get new passport upon return from KL.....). There was a photo of me on the bulletin board back before I graduated, which I took with me, but it's in cargo and nearly faded now. Me at my max weight.... I had WLS a couple months after this photo was taken, my first summer into the Ph.D. program. Anyway, um, do you see now why multiple surgeries are required?!?!

I tried going back through my photos to try to find something that would compare before/after without me having to go try to take full length photo of myself....yes, I'm that lazy at the moment.... Anyway, I found two.... Funny how you have pics of other people and not many of yourself! Anyway, they're both from Salamaua. I remember this photo well as I had on a skirted bottom bathing suit and Molly was laughing at me as I put on shorts over them and stuffed the skirt part down my pants! (Thus the bulging middle bit! This makes me almost look like I still have an ass, though! I like it!)

This photo clearly illustrates some areas in need of "bit lifting". Yes, I'll run and play, but I just prefer not to wave my arms and thighs in the wind when doing so...

Anyway, we'll see what can be done this week. Surgery is scheduled for Thursday. Bring it on....

A Few Book Reviews

2012-01-07T20:03:00.002+08:00

I've read a few books lately. All the ones I bought in Singapore, another Billy let me borrow, and a couple from iBooks. None are really current, so you might have already read them, but if not, there are a couple really good reads listed....

The Girls' Guide To Hunting And Fishing: It was a super quick "coming of age" read, comprised of short stories... Really great start, but then it got kind of eh. I don't get how books start off so well to only go off on some weird path.... I give 3/5.

Hector And The Search For Happiness: Another quick read, fable-like book. The title pretty much tells what it is. I must say... I adored this book. It had just enough psychological undertones paired with simplistic style, that I can see why it was such an international hit. 5/5.

Hector And The Secrets Of Love: Modeled off the best-selling book above, I was really disappointed. I think it's sort of like a sequel movie gone bad. Maybe it's because I had such high hopes? I'm not sure, but, frankly, I read this book waiting for it to be good. Far from it. Read the first book, but skip this one. 2/5.

Black And Blue: An older Oprah's book club books. All about domestic violence and the gritty details behind the scenes. It captured me immediately and I read it straight through. 5/5.

The Art Of Racing In The Rain: I'm not a big dog person, but loved this book. I was very confused, though, because this seemed like such a chick book, but then again I was reading about Formula One racing?!?! Really great book. 5/5.

Getting Stoned With The Savages: I love this author and adored his first book Sex Lives Of Cannibals. But this book fell a bit short from his first. It was still good and I love travel books, especially of the South Pacific! Oh, how I can relate! This book still made me laugh out loud at some points, but there were also sections that dragged the book down. Worth the read, especially him describing the kava!!! 4/5.

There's one English bookstore (that I know of) here in Balik, but yipee iBooks! Must download some new ones soon!!

Cargo 'n Stuff

2012-01-07T17:36:00.004+08:00

Cargo. I hate that word. Perhaps it's due to the issues of my first cargo shipment to PNG. Anyway.... Allegedly, our cargo is in Jakarta finally. Due to rioting in Lae, we knew it would be delayed. First it had to go to Brisbane (I think) and then Jakarta. Anyway, off went the paperwork in hopes that someone can claim it and it be freight forwarded to Balik.

35 boxes; everything we own. Although it's hard to count in "boxes", as one box is a toolbox, one "box" is my fishing rod case, one box is the fishtank cooler, one box is the fancy coffee maker, one box was just suitcases inside suitcases, one "box" is golf clubs, and one "box" is Damian's oar carving from Tami island, and, well, I'm not sure how many of those 35 boxes are filled with actual personal stuff. We'll probably will find we're okay without most of it. Although, frankly, I'd really like my fishing shirt!

I can't even remember what we packed, but I do remember giving lots of stuff away. I know I did have 7 or 8 small boxes that were filled with some of my books. And I did pack my few winter clothes. (Gee, that would have been helpful to have when visiting the girls..... Ug). Plus, all my other clothes. Which is ironic because I came to Balikpapan with a full suitcase and still haven't worn half of what I brought. But....my shoes! Oh, I can't wait to wear my boots!

Anyway, I know I packed most of my kitchen stuff (which wasn't much.... Except I did pack all my good American Food Network plastic containers not knowing there's a freaking Tupperware distributer here in Balikpapan!!!!). But, I did pack my chipped bowls and Ikea starter set of pots and pans. Yeah, we need kitchen stuff. I finally broke down already and bought a toaster. A least we can make peanut butter toast! I met an expat family that was leaving and I ended up buying most of their appliances. They're heading to the States next, so yippee for non-matching voltage! Most expats have learned to rewire plugs as long as voltage isn't an issue! Anyway, he was greatly disturbed by having to say goodbye to his favorite appliance - the blender, which apparently was "the margarita blender". I told him I would do my part to keep it live and well doing what it does best! Bring on the tequila!

I was also able to buy a treadmill off another expat family who's moving to Bali. Whoop-whoop! It's totally kick-ass!! I just have a feeling we'll be finally settled the day Damian's contact is up..... (insert eye rolling!).... Oh well, the life of an expat.

A Review of Facebook Timeline

2012-01-05T16:15:00.002+08:00

I hate being sick. There's too much to do in this town to be stuck in bed. I just don't feel well. Kind of flu-like symptoms....again. Achy body, annoying cough, and plugged ears. If I continuously take drugs, it's manageable, but ug... Just makes me want to stay under the covers. But while in bed, I should do something....

All afternoon, yesterday, I finally converted my Facebook timeline. Funny that I joined Facebook after I started my blog! I think back then Facebook was still for the younger crowd. Anyway, I knew I wanted time to preview it, and frankly, it took way longer than I thought it would. I can't image people that joined when they were young and have to clear up a bunch of stuff! I didn't have much to clean up, but it still took a lot to just go through things.

I like the idea of the timeline. How awesome to have your entire life digitally archived! I wonder if there will be a way to link parental accounts with children being born today? As they open their own Facebook account, will they be able to import in baby photos? Cool idea. Or even ultrasound photos or news of conception! Well, I have to tell my girls that I'm sorry I didn't open my account sooner. I didn't join the bandwagon until the end of 2008.

I've seen people who have retroactive put in things - big holidays or life events. I just can't be that fussed. Too weird to "recreate" my life online. Funny how useful it is, though. I can't tell you how many times I have gone back to my blog to search for surgery dates or cargo shipment or whatever. And I always have to pull up my online resume to figure out when I worked at what company when. This timeline thing Is a cool tool if managed well, aka i got all my privacy settings correct....

Frankly, my life is what it is. I think my worst photo on Facebook was the day when Cassie did my hair.

Thankfully, my friends are kind enough not to load up pics of me hurling up chunks off the side of a boat. Nah, I'll do that for them on my blog...

Using Blogsy

2012-01-04T15:17:00.001+08:00

Have I mentioned, I heart my iPad.... And Blogsy?!?! Ok, it's taken a bit to figure out Blogsy, but I think I'm getting there! This is my first officially post.... Lemme give it a whirl!

P.S. I've been editing all arvo! Whoop-whoop! Awesome app!!!

I Heart My iPad2

2011-12-31T17:40:00.001+08:00

While living in PNG, I became terribly behind in the tech scene. Gadgets, gizmos, and all things electronic excite me to the point of orgasmic joy. But, alas, my location nor salary legitimized me purchasing anything but a Blackberry in nearly two years.

Thus, after long and careful consideration, I did it... I now own the iPad2. A special little purchase while I was Stateside. It's just the basic model, 16 GB; black, of course. And the smart cover. Black leather. A girl needs to accessorize....

Let me just say that I like to lie next to it. I like to touch it's black, glossy face and slide my finger to unlock it. I like to flip and fold the cover, vertical, then horizontal, just because I can. I like to sync it and update it and download cooking applications that I doubt will ever help me. I have found Flipboard and question how I ever lived without it.... I entertain myself in traffic with Angry Birds, Veggie Samurai, and Temple Run. I have my Kindle books synced and have already downloaded a few new iBooks. I have programmed Night Stand to wake me up to my favorite playlists. I downloaded every "Learn Indonesian" applications. I have linked all my social networking sites. I have Blogsy.

I am a happy technology girl. :)

Life Is Good

2011-12-30T14:28:00.004+08:00

Anyone who remotely knows me, knows that I tend to "point" out issues with things.... Often, I state the obvious just in case it isn't obvious to those around me... or I let others know my personal thoughts and opinions, regardless if anyone cares... or that I often tend to ~~whinge~~ ~~whine~~ ~~complain~~ provide commentary about, well, everything... I tell people things repeatedly (and subsequently louder) because I'm convinced they did not clearly understand me the first time.

Like yesterday, when I went fishing with bunch of guys who just happened ~~to be out sick~~ to have officially taken a day off work. As the only female on board, I thought I'd bring it to their attention that the water was unusually rough. And I thought I might vomit. And, excuse me, but can one of you put some live bait on my hook, please?!?! (I'll do the dead bait, but the live bait is, um, live....) And did I mention I might vomit due to the rough seas? At some point, I fell asleep and woke up to drool coming down the corner of my mouth. The seas were calmer, but the water was still rough, which, of course, I told them again. But I caught fish. I made them get them off my hook. Except when they were busy (I think they were on to me....) and I put one fish I caught in the cooler while kind of standing on it with it's head squished in the lid while I shimmied out the hook so I didn't have to touch it.... Oh, and, excuse me boys, but I really need to pee. It's not fair you have penis and can stand on the edge.... It's really nice to be able to stand and hold on to a railing so you don't fall in with these rough seas. I'll just try not to dribble down my leg.... or, no, I think I can hold it until we get back in.... are we ready to go? yes? no? Can you make it go any faster? I really have to pee now....

Why they keep inviting me, I'm not sure... I think they're masochistic at some level....

But here's the thing.... I went fishing. Off the island of Borneo. On a Thursday. Life is good.

A Borneo Christmas

2011-12-26T07:02:00.001+08:00

I spent most of the morning trying to clean up the piles of stuff from unloading the luggage. Piles of souvenirs for people, fishing stuff for some boys, borrowed winter clothes, my snacks packed in every crevice of space.....

Anyway, I cleaned up most of it and made it over to Momma T's house for a massive Christmas feed. She had family up from Oz... Grandpa had been in Lae and we talked PNG for ages! Such amazing history is there. And several friends came over... Mandy made a pavlova, which apparently is an Aussie dessert that I had heard about but had yet to have.... and it lived up to all the hype!!! Yum! It really was a great afternoon. (And photo credits go to Momma T, who got a new toy for Christmas!!!)

Then we went over to Yuli's to give everyone their Christmas pressies. It seems all the boys had a Merry Christmas with their new American fishing toys! I know how to make friends and influence people! ;) Bill put on a huge spread and the place was all decked out. Good people.

Not sure why this time I've had such bad jet lag, but I was wiped out. I left early and went to bed before 9. I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning, well, more accurately, way pre-crack of dawn! But, I was able to call the girls to wish them a Merry Christmas. I miss them already.

Back in Balik

2011-12-25T10:42:00.002+08:00

I travel one of two ways.... I either have a backpack with no checked luggage, or I pack to the maximum checked luggage, plus excess pieces, plus try to smuggle on an extra carryon. Let's just say that my transworld trips are the latter.

For this trip back, I had two 50lb pieces of luggage and a fishing rod case. Plus I carried on my small rolling luggage, my carryon bag, my Charlie Brown Christmas tree, my coccyx butt cushion, and a bottle of duty free I picked up on the second to last leg. Overloaded was an understatement.

United Airlines now only allows one free bag, so I had to pay $70 for my second piece. Then they charged $200 for my oversized third piece. Lovely. They checked them through to Jakarta and I started to ponder the Jakarta-Balikpapan leg and the cost for the final flight... hmmm....

I went direct from DC to Tokyo with a very tight connection, aka ten minutes from gate to gate. I arrived just in time for it to board, but it ended up being delayed by an hour because another connecting flight hadn't arrived. All good. And then I hear that the flight is full and there's no room for carryon bags. Um.... I had all my electronics in my carryon. And I was playing Santa for some people and wasn't about to check a non-locked, fully packed suitcase full worth more than my Indonesian bank account. Hmmm.... and then I got paged to come to the front desk.... dun-dun-dun-dun.... I was upgraded to business class! Sweet.... those slumming in economy aren't allowed to put their carryon in my space!!! I wheeled my crap on board with no problem... yes!!

So, I landed in Singapore late with the delay... sometime past 2 am. I had a Crown Plaza hotel voucher, but I knew there was a direct flight to Balikpapan at 7:55 am that wasn't full. The 24 hour transfer desk said the other desk would open at 3 am. Cool. Of course, I waited, and they couldn't help me because they were Singapore Airlines and I was booked through United. Grr. The regular ticket counter opened at 6:30 and they said if I bought the ticket, they could retag my bags direct to Balik for no additional cost. Hmmm.... I checked my other tickets could be used at a later time and found that Singapore-Balik was S$619 oneway or S$522 round trip. Ah ha! I had it all figured out... I would book roundtrip, and then redo my other ticket and use it in January on another trip.... I had a plan!

So, gotta love Singapore airport and they have stores open 24 hours, and movie theaters, and swimming pool, and butterfly garden, and lounges with showers..... I showered, I ate, I perused some stores. I went back and was ready at 6:30. Tight to get the flight, but possible. I get up there and they said that I had to purchase the tickets online to get that price. Regular airport price was twice that amount. Ummm... so I run to the internet kiosk and try to book the tickets and proceeded to lock out my debit/credit card. Lovely. I go back up to the ticket counter and explain.... I have cash!!! Please, oh, please.... (to me this was a better option... get home at 11 am without paying more luggage fees.... or get home 9 pm with an unknown luggage cost....). Needless to say, airport fare is airport fare. Online only takes credit/debit. I have no time.....

A guy that had been watching in amusement as I walked back and forth with my many bags of carryon asked if I had Singapore dollars or American. I said American. He said he could book my ticket with his credit card for American dollar exchange. I'm all about mutual benefit... better exchange rate for him, tickets for me... so I/we start to book the ticket. Select Dec 24th, return....and and....what? Internet frozen? Next page? What?!?! I restart the process at the next kiosk. Dec 24th is no blacked out. NO!!! I go back to the transfer desk and they said the tickets are taken off line within one hour of boarding. Damn. Outta luck. Seriously, I missed it by minutes....

So.... It's officially not even 6:45 in the morning and my flight doesn't leave until after noon. I asked about earlier flights to Jakarta and Balikpapan. Oh, plenty.... flights are all empty. Except my tickets were booked through United and they weren't answering their phone or were at the transfer desk so no one could do anything with the tickets. Nice.

I decided to give up and keep my tickets. Get my boarding pass, go charge my electronics, use some free wi-fi to download some new ipad apps. Get some Starbucks. Whatever.....

Needless to say, both flights I had full rows to myself and I slept....no food, no drinks, please let this cranky girl sleep.... I arrive at Jakarta, get a porter to gather all my crap and get me through customs. No problems... all good. And then....time for excess baggage calculation. Shit. Well, it turns out it was less than USD$40. Cool. And they gave me change in Rp, which was good because I spent most of my money on airport tax when I left.

So...at Jakarta... Balikpapan was called...the flight left. Then another one....the flight left. I wait... I wait.... then.... news that my flight was delayed. Seriously?!?!? How many flights have gone while I've been sitting here?!?!? Grrr... It worked out fine, though. Damian went fishing and he arrived at the airport just as I was landing.

I thought about waiting to unload luggage, but, well, it was nearly Christmas. We needed the tree. :) It was beautiful and perfect. Cassie decorated it with a few extra special things. Once the tree was up, we needed a few presents.... so I unzipped my luggage and we had Christmas just a bit early.

Hanging with the Girls

2011-12-19T07:27:00.001+08:00

It's been full on since flying out of Balik. The whole day leading up to leaving had been crap with just one thing after another and I was happy to get to Singapore and knock myself out at the transit hotel. I had just enough time in Tokyo to use the toilet, grab a snack, and get on the plane. Great connections. I landed in the States back on Wednesday and haven't stopped since I arrived. Having loads of fun with the girls! I'll sleep later!

Food, Food, Food

2011-12-09T08:20:00.000+08:00

I like going to the Padang restaurants where they bring you bowl after bowl of various dishes and stack them high on your table! It's a great way to try different things (although I've learned some hard lessons this way too....). You only pay for what you eat, so at the end, they just survey your table for what's left. (I do wonder what they do with the leftover food?.... actually, I don't want to know...).

It is a bit odd at first realizing you're eating food that has been pulled off a shelf, sitting in a sunny window, that you're not exactly sure when it was cooked.... but, when in Indonesia, do as the Indonesians! Well, except, I don't like eating with my hand and, luckily, no one frowns when you ask for a fork. All good.

The only thing with eating all this spicy food is that I wish they served beer at these places. I thought about BYO, but I do think the Muslim community would frown about that! But, I do believe they do take-away... hmmm.... now I just need to learn the names of my favorite dishes so I don't end up with just the bowls of salted fish heads.... some dishes I just leave on the table...

After my yummy padang lunch yesterday, I stopped in at a different grocery store. I bought a few snacks and things, nothing exciting (except some odd juice flavors - really? Asparagus, broccoli, and bean curd? Oh, and honey flavored water!).

Anyway, while I was in line, a lady came behind me with some cherries. Hmmm, those look good. I'm looking at the cashier scanning my groceries. I'm looking over at the fruit section of the store. I'm looking at the lady and her juicy container of cherries. I look again as the lady scanned the last of my items. I pay. I leave my bag. I went back through the store and bought cherries. Good decision. Yummy.

McSnapper. I Think Not.

2011-12-06T09:36:00.003+08:00

I succumbed to McDonalds. We were not going to be late for fishing, so we did the drive-thru run on Saturday. A Big Mac and a Beef Burger combo, please...

Let me just say...delish. It satisfied a craving I didn't even know I had! The fries weren't quite exactly right, but my burger was spot on.

Thankfully, my tummy was receptive to this nourishment (unlike other meals I've eaten here in Indo). Thus, my tummy was full and I was ready for fishing!!!

It was actually quite a slow day fishing. Not many bites, and not many catches. However, Damian did bring in a decent mackerel and one big 'ole snapper (his personal best in the snapper category...)

The mackerel became Saturday night's dinner, which is always a tasty way to end a day out on the water. And one of the guys took the snapper home to smoke it and gave half to Damian yesterday.

What was for dinner last night at the Aston Hotel? Well, in our room it was smoked snapper and some Carlsberg beer. I like it here.

New City, New Doctor, Same Coccyx

2011-12-02T16:03:00.000+08:00

Let's just face it, my coccyx is always irritated. Some times more than others, but the pain always reminds me that I have a tail(bone)... Anyway, it's not horrible at the moment, but I inquired about possible injections while I was at the Siolam Hospital the other day. The expat nurse said she'd ask the orthopedic doctor. (Good sign that there's an orthopedic doctor...). Well, she sent me a text saying he's willing to give it a go....

So, this morning I went in and did the routine... explain my WLS, the fall that I think might have triggered it, my history of various things I do/have tried over the years, and showed him my MRI and xrays. (By the way, out of pocket after insurance in the States and the MRI cost over $700... they just got in a new machine and they said it's only like $200...ggrr piss moan... I hate American insurance/healthcare/system - no don't get me started because I think it's so f*cked up, no one can fix it.... but I digress....).

Short story: I got an injection. With an anesthetic first. It was the least painful injection I've ever had and I'm not sure if that's good or bad, considering the surgeon who is the coccyx specialist gave me the shot that was the most painful.... But, no harm, no foul. Can't hurt. We'll see if I notice any difference. I just hope the around the world plane flights are comfortable.

Total cost today: Rp 476,595.

Miscellaneous Life Post

2011-12-01T20:12:00.002+08:00

Settling as an expat is never easy... oh, I think back to my first month in PNG and just cringe. Although living at a hotel can be challenging, I'm thankful to have running water and air conditioning!!!

But... I have yet to come to any sort of routine in the month I've been here. Just when I think I'm making progress, another hiccup arises. Breathe in, breathe out. The joys of expatting!!

Anyway, here are some random bits so far this week....

There were multiple visits to the hospital for Momma T's baby buddha. Thing 1 and Thing 2 took turns at being sick and passed it right along.... We've been sharing my driver since the ~~firing~~ "sending back her driver to the office" incident and it's been a lot to juggle this week. Of course, I ended up coming down with some minor funk that would easily be managed if I had psuedofed.... but of course, new country, new drugs. Their psuedofed has knock-me-out stuff added to it.... I've been sleeping well at night!! But during the day, I've opted not to take it and just walk around with my head underwater. What?!?! Huh?!?! Did you say something?!?!

So, I thought I would try ear candles. Why not? What did I have to lose?!? Not so sure if it did any good, but the freaking massage that came with it was well worth the USD$3. I love this country!!! Thanks to A, I've got fantastic photos of this first time life event..... Damn skippy, between the reflexology and back massage, I'm already a repeat customer at Majesty's Spa.... :) (By the way, who needs a chiropractor when you can just get a traditional massage that cracks everything.... including your toes! Love it!)

I've also had a good feed week. I had lunch over at Dame's boss's house where her pembantu made fried bananas for breakfast and then like an hour later we had lunch of smoked beef fried rice, pickled chili cucumbers, fried chicken, and prawn crackers. I love Indonesian food!!! Then Dame and I ended up at Yuli's and Bill hooked us up with some sailfish that was caught over the weekend. (We went fishing on another boat and weren't as lucky... I caught one lone snapper....). Regardless of who caught it, YUM.

What else.... Yesterday there were military groups ~~blocking traffic~~ marching and chanting. Today, there were police around. Lots of police. And military. And military vehicles. And more police. And more vehicles. Apparently, there's a land dispute over Klandasen pasar, which is just down the road from the hotel. Funny that if I saw all this in PNG, I'd be ducked for cover expecting gunfire to ensue... but here, we just drove through it.... (the pic is from yesterday and the practice marching... today was just a wee bit more dramatic...)

Anyway, today was the last of my language lessons... for now. We're taking a holiday break. And today is December 1st.... 12 more days until my feet land back in USA. Yep.... Tickets booked. Can't wait to see the girls!!

Spa Night Disasters

2011-11-28T08:50:00.004+08:00

So, here was the plan.... a four of us girl were going to do beauty night at Majesty's. The boys (sans Damian) were to play golf... then the "plan" was for them to return and drink beer and watch the children while we were sloughed, rubbed, moisturized, and peeled. And then were were all to go out to a fabulous dinner.... Of course, we're in Indonesia and things don't just go "as planned"....

Momma T, Baby Buddha, Dame, and myself headed over to A's house to meet up with the boys... (Momma T's Thing 1 and Thing 2 were already there). Anyway, we walk in to a house full of kids. We sit, we wait, we text the boys to make sure they're nearly done.... um, they're not even close. Crap, the other chick was already on her way to pick us girls up.

Damian said he'd watch the kids... well, as long as Baby Buddha didn't take a shit... but Momma T said his bowels were cleaned earlier for daddy... all good. So, we left Damian with ten little children, a chicken in the oven, and Bridesmaids playing on the dvd. He is a good man....

Off to Majesty's! We get there and it's full on full.... as in a two hour wait. So, one of the chicks calls Leond's. Creambath? Cool. We were a bit concerned that they could take all four of us, but this is the best we're going to get.... Damn, and I wanted a massage. But, go with the flow...

We pull in and we all notice a new place next door. The sign on the door says Massages! Creambath! Reflexology! Oh, and so much more.... Yes, we go there...

Now, I'd like to say that you should probably be concerned that it's 4 pm and you're signing into a book where you're the first customers of the day.... but we sort of ignored that bit... we all chose various treatments from the book... I asked for the "paket"... a foot bath, massage, facial, and steam bath. Other girls chose facials and creambaths. I'm not really sure....

All I know is I go to change. Let the spa treatment begin! I am a goddess! Let the pampering commence!!! First, the foot bath... As my short little legs dangle from the massage table, I slide to the edge to try to get them into the bowl. The lady splashes water up onto my legs. Then puts on lotion. Then splashes my legs again. Then she dries them with a towel. Then puts my feet in flip flops. Then has me lean back on the table to start my massage and takes off my flip flops. Mmmm. Okay, whatever.

The massage was a traditional Balinese massage. It was... okay. She kept stopping to mess with the air conditioner... on/off, low/high, rotate air/off again. Hello, my back... enough with my arms. Hey, did you know I have a back? Rub, rub, then done.... Then next was the facial. I've had facials before... this wasn't quite like any other. First, cold water. Great, so much for opening my pores. A mask. A wash. Some oil. Who knows. I thought best to keep my eyes shut.

Then the steamer came out. Instead of opening my pores, I think her idea was to just burn off the top layer of skin. I'm not having the most relaxing of spa treatments... And I hear laughing out in the lobby. Girls talking, having a good time. Really? Is it just me that is not really enjoying myself and trying to open my eyes just wide enough to look at the clock?

Then the gooey stuff is next. All I know is my face smells of durian fruit and it gelled up so fast I couldn't move my mouth. I'm stuck in this position. I think I might start to dry heeve. The only time I could inhale without gagging was when the air conditioner fan rotation came my way and blew straight on me... quick... inhale... hold it... hold it... exhale...breathe!

I am now 100% convinced this is the worst spa treatment I've ever experienced. And I'm lying on the table thinking, omg, these girls are going to be like "woo hoo.... fantastic!" Shit. I just met the one girl tonight. I'm going to offend yet another person here.... whatever. This really was bad.

As I pondered all of this (trying to distract myself from the gagging smell), and thinking it couldn't get any worse, the illegal torture began.... As the lady tried to rinse the crap off my face, she tilted my head backwards. Water, then more water. Dude... have you heard of gravity?!?! The water, tainted with the foul-smelling face shit, was going up my nose and down the back of my throat. I'm gagging and turning my head.

Now, I know what you're thinking... stupid Dr. Wendy, just stop, just end it. Get up and go away.... But just as I decide I couldn't take anymore, the lady figured out how to rinse it off without waterboarding me. I'm nearly done. Just rinse. I have to be nearly done...

Then in walks Mamma T asking if I'm almost done. She asked me how it was and I didn't answer. I did a little nod and would chat later.... She said hubby was really sick and they needed to go. The lady says 10 more minutes. Momma T said she'll give her 5. Momma T leaves and the lady says 10 minutes. I told her in my Bahasa Indonesia.... 5 minutes. My friend's husband is sick. 5 minutes. She finishes rinsing (sort of...) and asks about my steam bath. No, bitch, I want to keep my skin. Ain't happening. Ever.

I throw on my clothes and dash out the door. The chicks are already at the car. Momma T looks like a drowned rat. WTF happened to your hair?!?!?! She's twisting it, trying to get out the water, while trying to undo knots. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but some only had one treatment because it was so bad. One of the girls asked the owner something and she said she needed more customers so she can finish off her training and get her license. Great....

So the other girls are laughing and saying how bad there stuff was and I said they could have rescued me a bit sooner!!! And then I realize that Momma T's hubby is really sick! Oh shit! Wait, what??? So you would have left my ass in there? Great, thanks..... I have made such great friends here....

I'd like to think this was an innocent mistake and not some new initiation for me and Momma T by the other two chicks.... "Welcome to Borneo, Bitches!!" Whatever, we've earned the badge. Next time, it's Majesty's or bust.

Coffee, I Mean Viagra, Anyone?

2011-11-27T08:02:00.000+08:00

One of yesterday's headlines..... ROFL.... Excuse me, but would you like some coffee before our date?!?!

LOL! Sometimes the "news" is my biggest amusement....

Coffee proves to be a stimulant in more ways than one

Elly Burhaini Faizal, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta | Sat, 11/26/2011 8:30 AM

A | A | A |

The Food and Drug Monitoring Agency (BPOM) has revealed in a report that 22 out of 56 coffee samples randomly taken from markets in several cities contain chemical compounds, namely tadalafil and sildenafil, which are normally used to treat erectile dysfunction.

These substances, if used improperly, could have side effects that could lead to death.

“Twenty-two of 56 coffee products sampled contained chemical substances that were often used to treat erectile dysfunction. Some products contain either tadalafil or sildenafil, but others have both of these chemical substances. We must be on guard against these products,” BPOM chairwoman Kustantinah said at a media conference held at the BPOM head office on Jl. Percetakan Negara, Central Jakarta.

Tadalafil, an active chemical substance commonly marketed in the form of pills under the brand name of Cialis, can increase blood flow to certain organs of the body. Doctors often use the drug to treat impotence or erectile dysfunction. Meanwhile, sildenafil is commonly sold as Viagra and is a popular drug to treat not only erectile dysfunction but also pulmonary arterial hypertension. Both tadalafil and sildenafil are categorized as strong drugs and are legally available only on prescription.

I Fired The Driver... Sort Of

2011-11-25T15:01:00.002+08:00

So, I haven't yet introduced the new family here.... there's Zed, Momma T, Thing 1 and Thing 2, and baby buddha.... Momma T, trying to keep her sanity while living in a hotel, enrolled Thing 1 and Thing 2 in one of the international schools. The little problem with this is that the school day ends at noon for the twins.... the start of prayer time for the driver.

I have an accommodating driver. In fact, Sapto rocks. He is always early, helps me with bags, opens car doors, and corrects my Bahasa Indonesia! He works around prayer time, lunch time, and works late without every complaining. I try to look after him, but sometimes there are just conflicting activities, and, well, he is the employee....

Anyway, Momma T's driver sucks. I've personally have had him for two days and I was fed up. It's not that he even speaks so little English, it's more of the fact that he is just unprofessional. He has no idea where stuff is; he gets out of the car and makes you wait for him to make a phone call; he's chronically late; he'll leave you stranded someplace because he had to "go to the toilet"... again....; or, in the case of today, say that he cannot pick up the children because he gets lunch between 12:00 - 1:00 and wants to go pray.

Now, I'm all for religious freedom.... but if you want to work as a driver, you're on call. You are expected to work around your employer. It's not like Momma T is asking for him to take her to the salon to get her nails done (oh, no... we plan that earlier in the day....). But, seriously, picking up children from school late isn't an option.

Anyway, he waited until I got out the car before telling Momma T that he has to go pray at noon. Um, so not cool.... so I get back in the car and she asked me to talk to him (in my sketchy Bahasa Indonesia...). It starts off casually....

The twins need to be picked up every day at 12:00 when the school closes. After they get dropped off, you can take your lunch hour and go pray. Yes, I know today is Friday (special prayer day), but the school closes at 12:00.

Then, as the Aussie's say, it goes pear shape....

No, you cannot drop Momma T off at the school and come back later. The boys need to eat. Yes, I understand prayer time is 12:00 - 12:30, but you're a driver and you have to pick up the children at 12:00. Do you want this job? No, I am sorry, you cannot go pray at 12:00. I understand that you want to pray, but the school closes and the children must be picked up. DO YOU WANT THIS JOB OR NOT?!?!? YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!

Okay, okay, so I was too chicken shit to fire him myself... So I called my driver to do it! We got out of the car and I told him to go to the office.... ha! Sapto was waiting for him!!! (Seriously, this has been brewing for over a week now....) All was good again as Sapto came early to pick us up to get the boys from school.... we even stopped for lunch on the way home. Then Thing 1 (or Thing 2... not sure) puked. Sapto just held the door open. He really is a great driver....

Turkey Day

2011-11-25T09:19:00.000+08:00

I ran into some random guy Wednesday night and we started talking about Lae. He was there in the 70s and 80s and was disappointed to hear about it's current conditions.

Anyway, he invited me over to his (American) friend's house for Turkey Day. Cool, I'm in!!! After my Bahasa Indonesia lessons, the driver took me over to his friend's house where I ate turkey, ham, potato salad, cornbread, green bean casserole, yams, and plenty of desserts.... Yipee!!!

I had a great time hanging out with some fellow Americans. The southern drawls from the guys from Mississippi and Texas was awesome!

The Adventures of Jean Shopping

2011-11-23T22:09:00.001+08:00

I’m heading back to the States in a couple of weeks and have no winter clothes. Well, I do have a hoodie and a long sleeve t-shirt... does that count?!?! It’s not even “winter clothes,” it’s the fact that I have one pair of jeans that fit. I’m thinking that I shouldn’t be showing up in Washington DC in the middle of December in shorts…. I realize that Walmart is open 24/7, but I don’t really want to spend my first hour of Americanism searching for pants that zip….

Anywoo…. The weather here is sooo much cooler than PNG (and what’s up with that… we’re on the freaking equator?!??). So, I find that I’m wearing my jeans every other day (yippee for daily hotel laundry service!). But, it would be great to diversify my wardrobe and be able to change clothes somewhere in the middle of the four international flights…. (yippee for airport showers!)

So, off to Superblock today on a mission. I will buy pants. Here’s the thing, though. Yes, there are malls. Yes, there are stores. Yes, there are clothes in these stores. Yes, there are pants that technically zip. However…. Most of the cute little Indonesian girls here are built like anime cartoon characters…. I don’t know about their genetic code, but I have more than 4 inches between my crotch and my waist….

You have two choices in cuts here… skinny jeans and skinnier jeans. And everything is in inches, not sizes. Ma’af, oh lovely sales lady, but I have absolutely no idea what size I am…. After being handed one pair of her best-guessed size (she was close, but then again close only counts in horseshoes….), I thought it was wise to take half the rack in with me and just quietly cry in the back corner of the changing room….

Let’s just say that if the pants fit around my waist, then other parts where… oh, how shall we say it…. skankily tight. Seriously, I’m trying to buy jeans here, not leggings!!! And if they were too big, my waistband sagged down to my knees…. This wasn’t going well. And what’s up with the rise??? Is it too much to ask to get at least half way up to my belly button?? Or to just get them high enough not to show my cesarean scars??!?!?

Notice the baggy blouse?
It pleasantly hides the muffin top.

I finally found a pair that were just low rise and not ultra low rise (or "cesarean cut" as I’ve dubbed them…) but they had one color/style. That’s it, folks! Take it or leave it…. (the other 20 stores were similar…..this is not an anomaly). Anyway, of course they had a special…. Two pairs for Rp 538,000 or one pair for Rp 399,000. Ok, so for USD $15 more, I could get a second pair… great. Um….

So, I bought the first pair. And, well, I bought one of the other pairs, too (the style I shall call “I can see your bellybutton, but thankfully not your scar”). They’re quite comfortable, but if I bend over too far, I give myself a wedgie and basically moon whoever is standing behind me. But, well, they are comfortable…. If I were an anime doll I bet they’d totally rock, but I’m not, so I’ll be wearing those jeans with a baggie/longer shirt just so I don’t show off my coccyx to those behind me….

I will say that with the leg style, both jeans work well in rolling them up… my favorite of the fashion trends, which get you two looks for one…. I’m not a big fan of long jeans with flip-flops, but rolled up jeans? Hell yeah… I’m a fashion goddess….

Anyway, I am ready for winter in America. Um, except for shoes…. I wonder if as a fashion goddess I can pull off socks with flip-flops? No? Fine. Shoe shopping is next week… stay tuned…

Movie Night!

2011-11-21T16:57:00.000+08:00

Yipee! Balikpapan has movie theaters!!! And nice ones!! Sweet! I must go check them out.... and what is that?!?!? Twilight, Breaking Dawn? Oh my, a chick flick! SCORE!

Off to the theater.... two tickets, Rp 70.000; one large caramel popcorn and two bottles of water, Rp 51.000; putting my butt in a giant cushy seat and watching an actual movie at a real movie theater... priceless!!!

It's good I did Lae first so I can get this excited over going to the movies!!!! Woop-woop!!! Yep, USD $14 very well spent... and post-sushi was just icing to a great night. Yum!

Fishing With The Boys

2011-11-20T11:09:00.000+08:00

We really have met some great people here already. And the fact that there are boats involved, well, that's just icing.... Anyway, yesterday's fishing trip was a go and we met up with the boat owner down at Melawai Beach.

It's a bit different than in Lae. First, there are no jetties. The water is very shallow and you just walk out to a little tender which can then take you to the boat. There were about 15 of us all together and we loaded on board and off we went.

You have to get a good ways out, so full throttle past the oil rigs. It was great. It was such a beautiful day. Next thing you know, the boat stops and we're in the middle of the bluest of blue water. In go the rods rigged for live bait. In goes a rod, give a little shake, pull it out.... 5-7 bait fish are hanging on each time. We quickly switched over to the heavy rods and let the real fishing commence... No trolling... just throw some live bait over and see what we all can bring up. Good fun!

Over the few hours, nine species of fish were caught. We had to keep drinking the beer so there was room in the coolers! Dame and I both caught a few good snappers and he also brought in an albacore tuna. The other boys brought in some good sailfish and mackerel, but the hookups on the marlin and shark were lost. Good fishing, though.

Anyway, it was a great day. As the sun went down, we kept fishing. Then the storm started brewing on the horizon... I've only seen lightening like that on Nat Geo! We came back to shore in the dark and pissing down rain. I didn't know the equator could be so freaking cold!

Damian said it wasn't so bad, but that was after he went to go for a piss and missed the last step and ended up in the warm water.... hmmm..... man overboard.... I just laughed and tried to get a photo unsuccessfully. Oh well. Anyway, we all huddled underneath the canopy while most of the storm passed, but I was just as soaked as him by the time we actually made it back to land.

Hmmm, dripping wet, what to do, what to do.... we were asked if we were going to Yuli's after. Um, okay! So I drove in Indonesia for the first time... with no headlights (I figured out that I had to manually turn them on half way there....oops), in pissing down rain, at night, dodging scooters. I passed the turn off twice and had to keep making u-turns, but I eventually got us there.

Yuli gave me a dry t-shirt shirt and I ended up going commando (love my quick dry skirts with built in shorts... but they just don't dry with cotton underwear on... yeah, yeah.... tmi....). All was good and the kitchen guys cooked us up one of our freshly caught fish for dinner. ENAK! It was really a great night. I played pool with the local pool sharks. Turns out that if I get three shots for every one of theirs, I actually have a chance at winning....

Anyway, I really had a great day. Yeah, I'd say the first Borneo fishing day was ace. Can't wait to do it again.... :)

Toilets

2011-11-18T15:07:00.000+08:00

Can I have instructions, please?

Coming from PNG, I'm used to going pee in the ocean or taking a crap out in the bush. Frankly, you do what you need to do. But I'm not in PNG anymore. I am in Balikpapan. Yes, I now reside in a nice, large city in Indonesia.

Western Mall, non-Western toilets

As I drink at Starbucks, shop at malls, and eat at some nice restaurants, I am surrounded by westernization.... until I need a toilet. Crap. Ha! Crap, indeed....

Option #1 - The squat toilet. I don't know about you, but I just can't seem to figure out how to do it without getting dribble down the side of my leg. I think there should be some instructions somewhere.... I'm pretty sure I'm just not doing it correctly.... I've given up unless it's my only option and then I just close my eyes and pretend I'm back in PNG out in the bush somewhere. The only issue is that here I'm not wearing quick-dry, old, junky clothes. A little dribble in the bush is fine, a little dribble before going to try on new clothes is just gross.

A freshly cleaned wet toilet at the mall.

Option #2 - The "wet toilet". On the positive side, there is a proper toilet seat. The negative side, it's usually covered in water. Hmmm. I'm hoping spray water and not pee "water", but I digress... I like to think that as I hover over the mysterious dribble below, I am building thigh muscles. I feel toned already! The issue though, really, is the "sprayer". I have a few questions.... If one was to use the sprayer, how do you dry yourself? (I mean, that's kind of why I wanted toilet paper in the first place...). Another question, why is there water everywhere in the toilets? Aren't you supposed to aim and shoot? Or was the person before me rinsing her legs from her dribble after she refused to sit on the previous girls' dribble and her toned leg muscles gave out and she fell....

Regardless, I used to be a Girl Scout. I can handle it. Bring it on.... I just now carry tissues and multi-purpose wet wipes. AT ALL TIMES. Regardless of how "western" a place looks, I'll follow the Girl Scout motto: Be Prepared.

Bahasa Indonesia

2011-11-17T18:43:00.042+08:00

The view from language lessons at KBC-1 Compound

I really like my language lessons, although I think I hit a break wall with them this week. Okay, okay, it was only lesson #3, but still.... I want to learn it!! I'm getting more vocabulary, but forget it if I don't use it. And I just don't get the sentence structure. I'm always saying everything backwards. Whatever...

I talk to everyone (okay, like that's a shocker...). Drivers, store clerks, strangers on the streets.... You name it, I'm chatting them up. It seems to be the same conversations over and over though. Yes, indeed I need to spend more time getting more vocabulary words down!! It's fun, though. Even if I do sound like a complete nutcase! :)

Sid's Bar and Scouting for Scooters

2011-11-13T20:40:00.002+08:00

The fishing trip was canceled today, so we ending up driving around and exploring the city... while stopping to look at every Honda and Yamaha store we passed..... um, they all have the same ~~motorbikes~~ scooters... I figured that out after shop number 6, but Damian was convinced otherwise.... okay, well, maybe they were different.... I have no clue... but they all look pretty much the same.... Can I have a pink one please?!?!? No. Humpf. Whatever.

We ended up stopping at Sid's Bar, aka Borneo Bar and Fishing Club. I'm not sure about the "fishing club" bit, but I liked the vibe of Sid's.

Considering we were the only people there, we were attended to quite well. Perhaps people in Balikpapan don't go out to the bars before noon on a Sunday. Oops... well, we do. And it was open. Win/win. The food was yummy and the beer was cheap. We'll be heading back very soon...

My thoughts are with my friends in Lae... alcohol bans suck. Especially for that long. Especially in Lae. The Bintangs are flowing here.... feel free to visit! :)

Beer, Bars, and Boys

2011-11-12T10:03:00.002+08:00

The first bar that I went to here in Balikpapan was at the Aston Hotel. It's nice, but more of a pub-style place to drink potable spirits (which I did; which I paid for). Anyway, Damian heard about Yuli's... Hmmm... yes, let's stop in after work! We stopped in twice this week... Had a drink, looked out over the ocean, ate some snacks.... all good. It fit our groove.

Last night, I picked up Damian (ok, so the driver took me to pick up Damian) and we stopped in at Lia's. Um, this was a bit different. I'm sooo not in Papua New Guinea anymore. The ladies were dressed in very (very) short skirts and slinkly little tops with the highest of high heels. They were attentive, to say the least... As I look around, I notice that I'm the only other chick around. Um, I think this is the type of place the boys go to without their partners..... lesson learned. :) Although I did have some really great conversation with all the guys and the waitresses were just as attentive to my refills, so all good. (And another chick did come in finally....).

After Lia's, we went back to Yuli's. Let's check it out on a Friday night! First - live music. Excellent. Second - kids, families, food. Also, excellent. Third, got invited fishing by Yuli's hubby. Beyond excellent!!

Exciting Things....

2011-11-11T16:03:00.002+08:00

I spent USD$16 today. I bought lunch at the mall, I bought a faux designer purse (me, a purse! well, it's hard to pull off the bilum look in nicer clothes here...), and I got a pedicure! Super fabulous. She ~~sandpapered~~ sloughed off 2 years worth of Papua New Guinea funk. My toes are happy. I am happy. Plus, I had some great Bahasa Indonesia lessons with those girls! They were great and I think that I will be going back there very soon.... Sampai jumpa, ladies, sampai jumpa....

I have also hacked my Blackberry. Yipee! I have email, facebook, and messenger again! Life is good.

Driver's License Indo Style

2011-11-08T17:05:00.000+08:00

Well, today I went and got my driver's license. Not only am I able to drive a car, but I'm also now licensed to drive a motorbike, scooter, or Harley, if I so choose. Let me just begin by saying that I have never driven a motorbike in my life, and, if anyone has ever been with me while driving a car, you know I probably should just stick to using my driver.... but I digress from my story....

Everything has been organized by this mysterious guy that has managed all our immigration /visa /kitas /etc. He also, today, met us at the police station to get our licenses. All I know is that he just waves us to the front of the line and/or moves us to some back mysterious room where the paperwork has all been done except for signatures/photographs/fingerprints. Today was no different....

We finish everything up and wait (we think we're waiting for the actual driver's license... No). We're waiting to take the "simulation test" where you sit in front of a computer monitor where the screen shows traffic scenarios and the voice from the headphones ask you true/false questions. Oh crap....

Let me just stop and ~~brag~~ say that for the regular driver's license test, I got all answers correct!!! (and Damian got one wrong...). Hmm... then... the motorbike test. I passed! I only got one wrong! (Damian got two wrong. Oh my... Mr. Motorbike himself got TWO WRONG!). I think I forever will remind him that, I BEAT HIM!!!! Yipee, I passed! I passed!!!* I totally rock.

*okay, okay... fine. All the above is technically true. However, did I forget to mention that the entire thing was done in Bahasa Indonesia and basically we were sat down in front of a computer screen where the lady pointed to two keyboard buttons and sort of just told us to push which buttons when each question appeared? Oh, that's such a minor point..... I can't help it if Damian pushed the wrong button! (Or did the lady just tap him on the wrong shoulder tell him the wrong answers?!?!)

I, frankly, have no idea which button was for true and which one was for false, but I went with it. Tap on the left shoulder, push the button on the left. Tap on the right shoulder, push the button on the right. I think this just might be a conspiracy so that when I'm driving and do something illegal, the police can just pull me over and fine me. I bet they'll get way more revenue this way!!! Ah, just the Indo way...

Now.... let's go motorcycle shopping! I have a license!!!! :D

Violence In Lae, But I'm Not There

2011-11-07T19:57:00.003+08:00

No, I'm not in Lae anymore, but I still think about my friends I left behind.... It hasn't been an easy week for them there. They've been cooped up, locked down, and knocked for quite a loop without any grocery stores open. It's never good when the news of the violence makes it to the Aussie news:

"Deadly Riots Hits PNG City" from ABC News....

At least two people are dead after violent rioting over the past few days which has crippled Papua New Guinea's main industrial centre of Lae on the country's north coast.
The government is warning it may have to declare a state of emergency.
Ironically the rioting was sparked by youths concerned at the city's growing lawlessness.
It began last Thursday when a group of local youths gathered to present a petition to the provincial government.
They were concerned by a perceived increase in crime, particularly at Eriku, one of the city's main markets and public transport hubs.
The youths blamed people who have moved to the city from PNG's Highlands and set up camp in Lae's many squatter settlements.
Lae has a reputation for being one of PNG's roughest cities but even long-time residents like Meck Minnala say they have never felt so scared.
"The rioting was big. They were throwing stones at each other even in the restaurants of Lae," he said.
"A stone penetrated my window. They were wanting just about anything and everything. They went on a rampage bringing the whole city to a halt."
Mr Minnala says many residents share the rioters' concerns about crime at Eriku.
"Daylight robberies, pickpockets ... and there were two rapes in which one was a 13-year-old girl," he said.
"She was going to school and raped early in the morning and there was another rape again just in broad daylight at Eriku.
"It just has been going on and nobody has been paying attention to it."
The violence intensified on Friday and continued over the weekend.
Police say mobs of youths attacked settlements populated by Highlanders, looting and setting fire to their houses.
Assistant commissioner Giossi Labi says police were powerless to stop them.
"Lae police got only 270 duty policemen," he said.
"Mobility, there is none. They were driving old police cars."
Police crackdown
There have been two confirmed deaths - one man was shot and killed by police who say he was threatening officers with a homemade gun.
The body of another man was found in the burnt ruins of a house. There are unconfirmed reports of other fatalities, and the death toll is expected to rise as the dust settles.
Mr Labi says 100 extra policemen have been flown in from around the country.
He says what is known as a fight zone has been declared across the city.
"That will empower police to arrest anybody that is carrying stones or anybody that is doing a number from three to five," he said.
Prime minister Peter O'Neill says he understands the concerns of the rioting youths, but he condemns the way they have expressed them.
He says he will declare a state of emergency today if the violence has not stopped.
"The last thing we want to do is declare state of emergency to control what the behaviour of the community should be, but the government will have no choice but to do so," he said.
Police say the situation is now tense but calm. They're hoping businesses and schools that have been shut since last Thursday will be able to reopen today.

Thinking of you all, my Lae friends! Glad it's starting to finally settle down.... Stay safe!

Sounds of Balikpapan

2011-11-06T08:14:00.000+08:00

Holy crap. So, we're living in a hotel that's on the water. We see the ocean, but it's rare to ever hear it. Why? Well, between the very loud calls of prayer between the competing mosques on either side of the hotel, the airplanes that constantly roar overhead, speakers that play Christmas music very loudly (I have yet to figure out where this is coming from...), live music from various places, kids in the pool, you name it.... it is rare to have a semi-quiet moment.

I get it now when I'm yapping on and on and someone finally just turns to me and says "SHUT UP!" Rofl.... I wonder if that will work for an entire city?!?!

Meeting, Greeting, Figuring Stuff Out

2011-11-04T14:42:00.014+08:00

It's been a great first week. I went to my first official Bahasa Indonesia lesson with a great group of ladies. Nine of us - two from the States, one from NZ, one from the Philippines, and the rest were Aussies. I've signed up for five lessons that will be every Thursday at one of the big compounds (KBC-1, a compound with beach-front access, which was nice to see, but the compound is also on the airport flight path, so that was fun to yell over the constant air traffic...not!). (FYI lessons were Rp 300.000 for all five).

Sapto (my driver) and me

Going to the lesson was also my first time with "the driver", Sapto. I'm still trying to figure this whole "driver" thing out.... he waited for me for an hour and a half, along with most of the other drivers. Of course, I couldn't figure out which vehicle was his/ours, and he had to get out of the car and wave me down. Ug. I'll get the hang of it soon, I hope.

Another expat guy came in whose wife (Noi) is Thai and has down basic English, but struggles still a bit with it. It really wasn't a problem as we bonded as all girls do.... shopping and food!

Trying to shop is first her converting to me in English what she wants/needs, then me trying to convert it into Bahasa Indonesia for the storekeeper. It was actually quite fun! Even more than that, she is also giving up her job to move here (she's a nurse who works in Bangkok and really loves her job). Needless to say, even through the language barrier, we get each other. She's heading back to Thailand for a month to finish up work, but will be back!

Anyway, we dropped the boys off at work and the driver took us to the other mall (where we had to wait outside because we were too early!). BSB (or Balikpapan Super Block) equates to any mall anywhere else. There's a store called ETC that I swear is just like the GAP in the U.S. I still find the shopping experience to be overwhelming and I basically just walk through with my mouth gaping open looking at everything. Yeah, what time in PNG will do to you!

I'm slightly obnoxious with my language books and practicing Bahasa Indonesia. I look up everything, try it all the time, and study at the bar (lesson #2 - yes I read forward and translated it already - is all about what our "husbands" do for a living... insert eyerolling and gagging.... I must find additional lessons...). But, when you do ask questions, you find out all sorts of things! The driver is married and his wife is due next week with a baby girl. Now I have a legitimate reason to go shopping! A baby gift! Frankly, I just like to go shopping to talk to all the store clerks. Luckily, most seem to enjoy it as much as I do!!

Adventures in Crackberryland

2011-11-02T17:38:00.002+08:00

I did the right thing and actually paid off my Blackberry contract in PNG. Shocker, I know. But everyone said I needed to make sure it was clean and clear so that I could use it here. Fine, I did it. All ready to go.... People convinced me that the phone was unlocked and I could just switch the SIM card when I arrived. Ah, no....

I bought a new SIM, had the girl load up the minutes, and she puts it in my Blackberry and I get nothing. After realizing that my phone is still locked, I thanked her and off I went. Today I went to three places (being referred to one place, then another) that could help me to unlock it.

Yeah, yeah, there are "codes" online, but, um, I want it legit! I paid for this damn phone, I don't want Blackberry to come back and stop it!

Anyway, the main mobile phone office couldn't help and sent me back to the mall. The mall sent me to some little shop down the road. They sent me back down to the main mobile phone office. After going round and round, and back and forth on the main road in Balikpapan on the angkots (a semi-cleaner, but much smaller version of a PNG PMV), I gave in and bought a cheap phone to use.

I realized that I have regressed to the earliest stages of life in Lae. I am not proud. For some reason I thought expat round #2 would provide me wisdom.... Hmmm... apparently not in phone land. I miss my crackberry.

Anyway, I emailed Digicel in PNG, hoping for them to give me the code to unlock it. We'll see, but I'm not holding my breath.

Positive side: I finally have telecommunication. Negative side: My phone is crap.

Adjusting.....

2011-11-01T16:54:00.000+08:00

I've officially had my first two mini conversations/encounters with expatriates here, with the exception of Damian's boss (who, by the way, I am sooo pleasantly surprised by, as he actually looked at me AND asked me questions about my interests and previous work.... Even if it was to be nice, it was, and I appreciated it more than he could possibly know).

Seriously, though, Balikpapan is big (well, in comparison to Lae, anyway) and (allegedly) there's quite a large expat community here. Where the hell are they hiding?!?! I've been to one of the malls, including the grocery store every day. Seriously...not one expat?!?! Oh well. I guess in the meantime, I'll go practice my Bahasa Indonesia with the locals. Probably more fun, anyway!

Okay, okay, I'll cut everyone just a wee bit 'o slack... after all, today is Melbourne Cup, so, perhaps, the ladies have been busy the past two days creating their fascinators and today attending a big event. (Sniff, sniff... I'm missing the Yachty and PNG's version of it all...) Yeah, yeah, Day 3, I know... I'm just impatient! I just hate being the dumb newbie.... ug.

P.S. I do have to admit, I'm glad that the women here have organized themselves to form a website. I have already ~~harassed~~ emailed them and am waiting to attend their “monthy meeting”. I will integrate here if it kills ~~them~~ me! Oh the joys of expating! Bring it on, biatches, bring it on....

Balikpapan

2011-10-31T08:25:00.000+08:00

We are home. Well, the Aston Hotel is home for the next 3-4 weeks, anyway. I'll take it! Free wi-fi! It's not Singapore fast, but it's certainly not PNG slow.

We entertained ourselves this weekend by going to the mall twice, aka Plaza Balikpapan. I'm slightly disappointed that our new city has a McDonalds. I think that's the marker of how developed and/or commercialized a place is.... and yes, for good or bad, our city has a McDonalds. Ah, whatever. We'll see how long I hold out for some french fries....

We've already eaten at a great local place down the street (where I was able to struggle through ordering in Bahasa Indonesia). I think I'll be dining there (and practicing my language skills) quite often as the food was yummy, cheap, and they only laughed a little. We also ate at Ocean's twice, which seems to be one of the more upscale places in town. Add on the hotel restaurant and the pub next door, we're certainly not starving.

I have realized quickly, though, how out of shape I am. I feel like we've done the tourist walking and my legs are begging for mercy this morning. It was probably good that we flew in on a Saturday to just give us a tiny bit of down time. Anyway, today is all about meeting/greeting and off to get fingerprinted. So far, so good.... :)

SHOPPING!!!

2011-10-28T18:02:00.002+08:00

I have completed my shopping in Singapore. I am so excited..... this is everything that was purchased today:

One bottle of eye make-up remover.
A pack of disposable razors.
Two bars of dark chocolate - with and without nuts.
And books!!! The Lonely Planet Indonesian Phrase Book, The Essential Indonesian Phrase Book, Hector and the Search for Happiness, Hector and the Secrets of Love, The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing, and Cook Express (Seri, I told you I'd get me my own copy!!). Okay, so my shopping list expanded a bit when I saw the bookstore... A REAL BOOKSTORE!!!

Yes, many people come to Singapore for Fendi, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel. I come for good chocolate and books. I. Am. Happy.

Now....what's for dinner!?!?!?

Singapore!

2011-10-28T11:37:00.006+08:00

Dame and I made it to Singapore! We were picked up last night by the agent company that will process our visas and taken to the York Hotel. We promptly dumped our stuff off in our room and went and ate satays and spring rolls. Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore!

It's funny how everything is a novelty....wow...what smooth roads! Hey, did you notice how efficient that lady was when checking us in? Come here, come here! It's a bathtub! And when you hear a strange noise outside the room early in the morning.... is it a raskol? No! It's the staff delivering the newspaper!

With the time zone difference, I didn't sleep in. But I did take a smokin' hot bath before breakfast.... because I could!! He was off for his medical check up. I spent the morning uploading/downloading my backlogged stuff for my computer. Oh, free, fast internet, how I love thee....

I'm heading off soon to shop! Although, I must admit, it is completely overwhelming. I just gawk, really. I probably should wear a shirt that says "Excuse me, I just came from the jungle" or something. My shopping list includes an Indonesia phrase book, eye make-up remover, and a razor. Sad, I know.

Frankly, my to-do list of Singapore is all about the food. 5 meals, 2 down. I must make the most of my last three.... Okay, off to plan my lunch and find a bookstore! A BOOKSTORE! Oh, yes, today is a good day....

Oh, and I made a video blog entry for today... JUST BECAUSE I COULD!

Iso's Go-Pinis With A Proper TANGFU

2011-10-28T07:37:00.027+08:00

We knew we'd see Alex and Iso at the Gateway Hotel before leaving PNG. They were flying in on the early flight from Lae and connecting in the arvo to Hong Kong. We planned on a proper goodbye (although that's one family I KNOW we'll see again....). Anyway, I'm texting Alex... he was stuck at the airport. TANGFU.

Change of schedule. Hong Kong flight was cancelled a month ago. And yet... Alex is holding his and Iso's ticket..... As he explains this to us over his very late breakfast, the Air Niugini staff just looked at him with the oh, so normal, blank stare...

"Then how come I have this ticket?"
"That's not a good ticket. The schedule was changed."
"Perhaps someone should notify those that have booked tickets."
"But that's not a good ticket."
"I have to get to Hong Kong today. I have connecting flights."
"We're not flying to Hong Kong. That's not a good ticket."
"I didn't PhotoShop the ticket. You issued the ticket."
"That's not a good ticket."

(Okay, okay, I'm improvising the conversation here, but he did say the PhotoShop thing.... and if you've ever had a conversation with Air Niugini staff, they are a fan of repeating the same thing over and over regardless of any logic, or lack thereof). Yeah, you get the drift. Not exactly what you want to face when you're trying to get your six year old to her mother. Needless to say, after an extra long wait, many people later, and many phone calls, we didn't say goodbye in POM. Instead, they sat in front of us on the Singapore flight and we said our goodbyes at the Changi airport. We went for baggage claim, they went to transit.

Good luck to you guys. Hope the rest of the trip was uneventful.... And that's how little Iso had a proper TANGFU Air Niugini go pinis.

(Oh, and as I was waiting in the lounge to depart.... I was reading the newspaper.... check this out:

Well, it's a good thing we were booked on Air Niugini.... not like APNG is flying yet anyway....)

Goodbye, Papua New Guinea

2011-10-26T08:45:00.002+08:00

I'm writing the blog entry while on the way to the airport. All the Lae goodbyes are over and the tears flooded. Thanks, for the last hug, Longpella Marc.

It's ironic that as I leave, I'm looking out the metal-grated Guard Dog bus window amazed again at the things I see...the same things I was amazed at when I first arrived, but quickly dismissed or overlooked as they became my everyday life here. Driving past villages and banana trees, little bottle shop "stoas" with giant SP signs, street side markets, and people bathing in the rivers. Today is such a beautiful day- poofy white clouds with the bluest of blue skies - just like the day I first arrived.

I learned so much about myself while in PNG, and am a stronger person for doing this. Yeah, "Educating Wendy" never ends.... I come away forever changed and am grateful for the people I met and memories made. Thank you all for following along... Catch you in Indonesia! (If not a lik lik blog post or two in Singapore!)

PS... To fill in the blanks... Yes, I met a special Aussie man in Lae (See, not EVERYTHING makes it on my blog!!) Anyway, I am following Damian and his new job to Balikpapan. Dr. Wendy, the unemployed, dependent partner! There's always a first for everything!! But, I'm following my heart and living with no regrets. Stay tuned... The adventures will continue!

My Medical Team's Success

2011-10-25T04:52:00.000+08:00

I did it. I survived my ass shot. And yes, as planned, it was a team effort. I figured Monday night was as good as any. I got some food in my stomach, took an oxycontin, got the ice pack, and curled up in the fetal position to take it like the ~~wussy girl~~ tough woman that I am.

Needless to say, it hurt like a bitch, but I think my "medical team" nailed the right spot. After consulting the xrays, mri, and all taking turns feeling my coccyx and the space between the bones, the needle went in.... I promptly was given a sleeping pill and cried myself to sleep....

I actually woke up on my back this morning, which is pretty impressive. We'll see in a couple days if the injection took effect. I'm hoping this is my last shot before I can get the surgery planned, but we'll see.... I do know that I have the best medical team in Lae! Thanks, guys!! (Sorry I wasn't so grateful last night.... please disregard the curse words I called you....)

Train the Trainer

2011-10-24T08:57:00.001+08:00

I had picked up another consulting job doing Train the Trainer for an NGO. This group will be training others nurses and mental health workers in domestic violence. It was actually a really good way to reconnect me as I was becoming quite cynical regarding teaching at uni.

Anyway, this past Saturday was my last training day. It was great as they were really enthusiastic learners and we had a great time over the past however many weeks. I'm so proud of them! I'm so glad I was able to have this really positive experience just before leaving PNG.

Anyway, on Saturday, I surprised them with my graduation gown! I unpacked it from cargo, but couldn't find the hat. Oh well, the robe was enough! They all got a kick out of it and each got a photo of Dr. Wendy bestowing to them their fancy gold emblem certificates! (Which were all promptly laminated, as you do in PNG....)

The final training day was the last two student presentations, a small activity I had planned, then we spent the rest of the time in party-mode.

As a group, they presented me with a lovely bilum. I'm pretty sure the house in Balikpapan will have a "bilum wall" just to display all the ones given to me this past week! They're just fantastic! Hats, necklaces, you name it. It was very sweet. It's a good thing cargo hasn't gone! I promptly went home and packed it up!

Work now (uni and consulting) is officially over. Done. Finish. Pinis.

Goodbye a la Uni

2011-10-21T16:15:00.005+08:00

I had several wonderful goodbye emails from the folks at uni, but one stood out... a poem....

O fair haired damsel
So the day arrives
When you have to sail or fly away
from the south-eastern sea shores

May we thank you
for your selfless contribution
to human resource development
and hence the progress
of this young dream of a nation
somewhere out in the south seas

Thank you tumas!!!

Others were more philosophical (?) in nature...

Dr.,

Thanks for the books you gave me to read.

I can’t thank you enough for what I learned from them.

I hope Unitech (and I) can learn from the quotation in Sam Wyly’s “$1000 and an Idea” (2009) of real Strategic Management professor Peter Ferdinand Drucker that, “The Business of Business is to make Customers”.

We can’t make customers at unitech. We make our own ego.

People like astro- physicist Steven Hawking, physicist Neils Borr, mathematicians John von Newman, Fredrick Gaus, Oscar Klein, Theodore Kaluza, naturalist Gerard Diamond, geneticist John Sulston, historian Paul Kennedy, theologian Karen Armstrong, philosopher Bertrand Russell. Their lives aren’t about ostentatious display of achievements, awards, and titles. They’re about service to the human race.

Why are we (PNGeans) so obsessed with having abc, def, phd, hiv, std, vd, etc, behind our names when we have nothing that is best-selling even at Unitech level? Never mind, international bestsellers from lowly diploma-holders like civil engineers Graham Hancock’s Superstition. and Robert Bauval’s The Keeper of Genesis.

I don’t see a future for PNG with all these apogenous, bovaristic, zoophitic “brilliant people” going to the polls. We need self-effacing unsophisticateds like Condom Agaundo, Yambaki Okuk, Maori Kiki, Tei Abal. ….and mothers.

Some were in Tok Pisin or combination thereof...

Hi, Resa meri

You have made a place in my heart for you for your short stay here in PNG. For the fun and jokes that we shared will never be forgotten. Those cups of tea/biscuits and leftovers being shared with Lue will be TREASURED even though you are gone.

YOU ARE MORE THAN A FRIEND TO LUCY AND I, WHICH I WILL NEVER FORGET......

With that I wish you all the best and BOND VOYAGE.

LIKLIK TOKSAVE OLSEM YU LUKAUTIM YU YET NA STAP YANGPELA RESA MERI...

Cheers and Best Regards,

Some were professional, yet sweet...

Sister Wendy,
Words cannot easily express the kind of love that you have for this nation and its people. This has always been evident in your efforts and delivery of service with determination and distinction. You have impacted my life with your short stay and I personally thank you for being my role model.
I personally have the conviction that with such a motherly heart that you have with your beautiful sense of humor, I still know that you will find a place in the hearts of people you come across because you are still unique and Unitech cannot find someone like you to replace. We miss you with so much pain!
God bless and all the best in your endeavors

Some assumed uni was trying to rid me...

Dear Wendy,
PNG UNITECH salutes you for your compassion in even taken the offer as a challenge. Your contributes are priceless and you ability to invite ideas to customize the existing system is most certainly what this institution needs

I sure do hope that if it is of your own will not to renew your contractual agreement then my bid of farewell to you. But if it is an administrative issue what so ever I personally think you and that office is our hope to putting UNITECH back to scale with the academic ranks of other competing institute in the Pacific and the whole world.

Until then its been nice having you around. From the Mathematics and Computer Science Department stay safe and see you when ever our paths cross again. Cheers with regards from Rainy Lae.

And some realized that although I was brought in for my expertise, I learned a lot too...

Dr W.

It is indeed sad to know that your employment has come to an end with Unitech. You have done your part and we will embrace your efforts you have rendered to this university. You have done well with students’ debates and I applaud you for that. I also commend you for orgnanising the short courses that were popular with our employees of this university. All accolade must be given to you for having had the heart to come to PNG and help the people of this nation.

Please leave with fond memories of Unitech, Lae and PNG. If you have learned new things from your short stay with us, I surely hope that you will share those information with your friends back in the States.
Cheers and best of luck.

The emails continued, the phone kept ringing, the bilums kept coming. And Lucy never stopped crying.... For my go pinis present for her, I paid k700 at the eye place in town so the woman can get some glasses! I sent her a couple months ago to get her eyes checked and she got a new prescription. She's been doing payroll deduction for a while, but at this rate, she'll have her glasses by the time she's 50. She needs them!! I just told her I really hope uni organizes my go pinis pay! (k1100) Eh, she's worth it! She's covered my butt at uni a million times over! I'll miss her.

My boss had a lovely little speech and took some photos of me and my posse (my secretary, his secretary, and one of the library assistants). He cracks me up sometimes. He said it was a woman's perrogative to change my mind and... will I please change my mind? Um, no... But he assures me that as long as he works there, I will always have a job. I have to admit, he has been a great boss. Considering his hands are tied on some many things, he's backed me in most things I've needed backing on. I think he's going to miss me, but he did say the campus will be quieter with me not there! ;)

Anyway, I thought I'd sneak off to the wild blue yonder, but due to the "payroll issues" I have to go back to campus on Monday. I bank at Westpac and 3:30 this email comes through.... banks are open from 8:45 - 3:00 pm. Nice....

Sent: Friday, October 21, 2011 3:30 PM

To: Uni Staff
Subject: [UNISTAFF 5973] Re: Pay Delay
All Staff

Pay has been processed through the Bank accounts few minutes ago. BSP can have access now. ANZ and Westpac may have theirs by next day (depending on your Bank).
Happy spending.
BURSARY

I'm crossing my fingers there are some checks waiting for me in the Bursary office.... and then I get one last piece of mail.... it's a form that needs about 15 signatures before uni will release my go pinis money. They have to ensure I don't owe money to the library, stores, tranport office, etc... all the heads have to sign off. Um, I didn't know I could get an advance/credit!?!? Damn! Oh well. Annie is going to personally go take that paper around on Monday and I'm hoping to get it all cleared up before I go. We'll see.... I'm not holding my breath.

Nogat Pinis Pay

2011-10-21T11:22:00.000+08:00

This is not what an employee wants to receive in her email on the day of her pinis pay:

All Staff,

Sorry for the late notice.
Circumstances beyond our control and beyond our means have caused the Pay Delay.

Thank you.

CRAP!

Playing A REAL Doctor!

2011-10-19T09:14:00.000+08:00

I have coccydinia. I live in a developing country. Those are two things that do not do well together.

But, in PNG, you do what you gotta do.... So, with my coccyx flaring up again and pending flights, I thought I would go ahead and get another cortisone injection to try to ease the pain.

The last shot I got was fantastic. Well, I nearly passed out from the pain, but getting this type of injection with a qualified spine specialist was great. He nailed the spot and I really felt better.

I've had some hit and misses from the orthopedic surgeon that worked here, but now he's gone pinis. So... what to do... Hmmm...

I know! I'll buy it and play real doctor! (My dream come true! REAL DOCTOR WENDY!) I can feel the spot... the space between the joint. I've had witnesses to my ass shot... I've had discussions about it with an Aussie nurse (spouse of expat that's up here)... and have talked to the volunteer doctor about it. So, I figure between the all of these people and my MRI in hand, "we", as the most competent medical team we currently have in Lae, are going in....

Now, I'd like to say, that this very specialized injection wouldn't even be done by my practioner in the United States... but I'm not in the U.S. anymore (RWYA). We make do here in PNG. So.... for k26 (a bit less than USD$11 - would have been less, but I bought two needles and syringes because I couldn't decide which size...need to consult my "medical team") I now am in possession of a Hydrocortisone Sodium Succinate Injection IP 100 mg, two needles and two syringes.

I'm contemplating on when I want to call the medical team together. I'm thinking maybe before Friday night beers so they can celebrate their success (and I can drink away my pain...). Well see... to be continued....

Yes, I Work....

2011-10-18T14:18:00.001+08:00

I've been working like a mad woman organizing the last bits of training and hand-offs at uni. I had another one of my trainers come in today to meet the (what will be my pseudo replacement...) Acting Head of Department and my boss. Anyway, all good. I was going through his last set of course evaluations and found this comment:

I just wonder where TLMU Director managed to secure these excellent presenters. We had Jonika and now David. Fantastic!

That made me feel good. They are excellent trainers, reasonably priced, and have a passion for PNG development. Even though I'm leaving uni, I know what I've done here is sustainable. They have good trainers with relevant material, and I feel confident that at least what I set up in terms of training will continue.

My boss was afraid with me leaving that people will stop enrolling in training or believe it's going to shut down. To show otherwise, I just booked four more (IT) courses for November before everyone leaves for holiday. We couldn't get our first dates because the library is holding a party....(yes, parties come first!), but we finally found some dates that work for everyone.

I just sent out the "ALL STAFF" email and the flood of emails started.... I have waiting lists for all of the other 13 training courses, I think it will be the same for these new courses. I'm pretty sure the trainer will be booked with uni for quite a few dates when everyone comes back!

After an emotionally exhausting week or so, I'm feeling optimistic.... Plus, I got another bilum today! ;)

CONGRATULATIONS!

2011-10-18T09:41:00.000+08:00

I got a call Friday afternoon around 4 pm while I'm walking to my vehicle....

Girl: "Hello, Dr., I'm trying to book your flight. We will have you fly in on Sunday and fly out on Tuesday. Is that ok? Where are you located? I just need to arrange the flights."

Me: "Um, I'm sorry, who is this?"

Girl: "[name]. I just need to get these flights sorted right away. You're not in POM, are you?"

Me: "I'm in Lae. I'm sorry, what is this for?"

Girl: "Oh, we are going to send you an email, but, um, you've been appointed to the Council of XXXXX. Hold on, I'll connect you with the Director."

Me: (now driving...) "Wait...uh...." (now on hold).

Director: "CONGRATULATIONS! You've been appointed as the Independent Director to XXXXX. We have a meeting next Monday and my secretary will arrange your travel plans. Hold on."

Me: "Um...I.." (now on hold).

Girl: "Okay, so you will fly in on Sunday and....."

Me: (cutting her off....and now shouting while driving with my window down [air con having issues and too cheap to fix it before it gets sold])..... Can you please send me an email? I'm driving.

Girl: "Okay. I will follow up with an email. Please confirm as soon as you get it."

End of phone call. My head now hurts. Huh? What?

A few minutes later, I do get an email which states "Please kindly confirm your location so we can arrange your travel for Monday, October 24 meeting." This was at 4:25. Sori tru, but I'm pulling a government card here and replied, "Let's discuss Monday during working hours" (Oh, yes, I "work" until 4:06 pm per my contract...). Really, I needed time to figure this out... WTF????

Fast forward to yesterday and I got a couple of phone calls, a real, scanned letter of appointment (apparently this was done last month and I'm just finding out about it?) Will be at the Crowne Plaza? Damn. That's a nice hotel. Okay, um, but I'm leaving? No woris, come to the meeting! Fine. I'll go (I could use the per diem....) Actually, this is in my field and I probably could contribute something worthwhile ...but really... this is how I'm notified? But two nights in a nice hotel, food, etc. We're in PNG. Let's be economical. No, just fly me on early bird and out on the late flight. Just a day trip...

Nope. With APNG grounded, everyone's having a hard time getting around PNG. Air Niugini is our only other option and we're already chock-o-block full on flights this time of year. (It's kind of hard when you can't reach cities except via plane in this country!!!). Anyway, the flights are full. My only choice would have been mid day Sunday, staying until late arvo Tuesday... for a meeting!

It's just too close for a screw up. My go pinis flight out of Lae is Wednesday to POM to leave Thursday out of PNG. (Thankfully, those are BOOKED!). All too much. Sori tru, but not gonna happen...

Morobe Show and Random Pommy

2011-10-17T13:39:00.005+08:00

What a weekend.... Morobe Show! This is the time of year when the population of Lae doubles and overloaded PMVs pour down from the Highlands.

There was a guy from an NGO that was coming to PNG to review a project in Mt. Hagen. (Click here and scroll down to see him... his name is Sion!) As any good traveller would do, he consulted his handy Lonely Planet guide for top events during his visit... and ta-da... Morobe Show... He found my blog and emailed me... next thing you know... well, I love being a tour guide!!! :)

He made arrangements to get from POM to Lae and he sent me a text while he was at the airport.... Flight canceled.... waiting for next plane. I called him. I told him that I canceled his stay at the Lae Travellers Inn and his crappy airport transfer. Instead, I booked him on Guard Dog transport (ah, hello, Morobe Show weekend...not a time to risk it....) and he would be staying the night with Alex.... Oh, and are you single?!?!?!

He was cool up until that point. I mean, he stayed in an expensive, bed-bug infested, guest house in POM, so free food and clean accommodation was welcome... but then he was silent... Dude, I'm not asking if you're single for me!!!!!!!.... but we do have some hot single NGO girls from Medincins Sans Frontiers that are in desperate need of eye candy!!! He was amused... (and slightly relieved that he was not going to be raped and pillaged by a random blogger he found online).

So, here arrives Sion off the Guard Dog bus... Third day in PNG and he's in Lae. During Morobe Show weekend. Fabulous! The plan for the rest of the arvo/evening.... Yachty beers, dinner at Alex's (to meet and greet the MSF ladies...), and a good sleep (sans the bed bugs). Sunday plan: Morobe Show. Then... um, what's up for Monday, Sion? Oh, he tells me since APNG is grounded, he was told to take a PMV to Mt. Hagan.... Um, (after I stopped laughing) I said no.

Now, I'm a pretty adventurous girl. I've been on a PMV. And, sure, he's an NGO dude. Young, virile, had a backpack.... But, uh, this is MOROBE SHOW weekend... as in Monday will be the day all the Highlanders will TRY to catch a PMV to get home... a good 10 hours on an overloaded, non-roadworthy vehicle?!?!? (Well, those that still have money, anyway. The rest will steal a vehicle or find other means to get cash and/or transport). As dangerous as those PMVs are during regular times of the year, I just couldn't bring myself to drop him off in town.... for him never to be seen or heard from again....

But, alas, this was Saturday arvo... beer time, we'll deal with transport issues later.... Off to the Yachty where I promptly had him tell the table of long time expats what he was told to do on Monday.... PMV...Mt. Hagan... (insert hysterical laughter here...). I'm sorry. I got a another chuckle. (I made him tell pretty much every person we met that afternoon just for my shear amusement!)

Anyway, we all had a great time and he crashed hard that night with a good night's sleep. Alex dropped his butt off with me in the morning, and off to the Show we went.... Lots of sun, pictures, and sing-sings....

The guard didn't take my ticket as the only white meri around the back gate. So, with a ticket in hand, I texted one of my debate students to come meet me at main gate. I get there and he asked about Sion... To make a long story short, his family was driving back home to Mt. Hagan that arvo. Sweet!

After the show, we picked up his backpack, I gave him my Assholes Finish First book for some good reading, packed them some snacks and a roll of toilet paper, gave the driver k100 to look after him, and off they went.... in a safe Land Cruiser with the appropriate number of people and seatbelts!!

Needless to say I got a text today from Sion, "the trip was great, beautiful scenery and it was fun chatting to the guys". Apparently he must have learned some Tok Pisin on the way because my student said that only one of them only semi-spoke/understood English. Eh, they seemed to have managed just fine. I'm actually kind of jealous! I'm sure it was a great road trip!

APNG Crash

2011-10-14T07:05:00.003+08:00

This is the plane and flight route that the girls and I were on when we were leaving PNG. (Lae-Madang-POM). Scary....

From the Aussie Daily Telegraph:

AN Australian pilot is among four survivors dragged from an aircraft that crashed in Papua New Guinea last night, killing 28 others. People from a village close to the crash site rescued the two expatriate pilots of a Dash 8 aircraft that crashed near the mouth of the Gogol River. One of the pair suffered a broken leg while the remaining survivors are believed to be a PNG cabin crew member and an Asian passenger who suffered slight burns. The Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trades have confirmed four people survived the crash, including one Australian pilot and one New Zealand pilot. "The Australian High Commission in Port Moresby has been liaising with Airlines PNG and local authorities to determine if any Australians were amongst those killed on an Airlines PNG flight that crashed outside of Madang, Papua New Guinea," a spokesperson for the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade said. "Initial indications are that there are no Australians amongst those killed. The High Commission has undertaken preliminary checks but official confirmation may take some time. "Airlines PNG and local authorities have advised that there were 28 passengers and 4 crew on board. They understand that four people survived the crash, including one Australian pilot and one New Zealand pilot. Australian Consular officials will travel to Madang today. The four survivors who were taken last night to Yamad clinic near the crash site at Transgogol River on the Rai Coast of Madang Province. They were last night being moved from the Yamad clinic by boat to Modilon hospital in Madang. The flight was enroute from Lae to the resort port town of Madang, when it went down over dense forest in bad weather about 5.15pm yesterday. The plane had 32 people on board when it crashed 20km southeast of Madang, a spokesman for the Accident Investigation Commission said. The 28 other passengers, all believed to be PNG nationals, are feared to have perished in the fiery crash. Eyewitnesses from Marakum village, about three kilometres from the crash site told the Post-Courier last night at Marakum that the plane came down on the banks of the Guabe River and burst into flames on impact. Early today rescuers retrieved five bodies from the wreckage, raising fears all 28 passengers died. "There were reports of fire and there have been some fatalities," AIC spokesman Sid O'Toole told the ABC. The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade was last night seeking to confirm the details of any Australians on board. The confirmation could take some time as locals report the weather around the crash site was particularly bad. Rescue teams were forced back twice at the Guabe river due to heavy rains and had to resort to the use of four boats to reach the crash site, Madang’s provincial police commander Anthony Wagambie Junior reported. It is believed that most of the passengers were parents on their way to attend the thanksgiving for the children attending the Divine Word University in Madang. The Civil Aviation Authority of PNG said the doomed plane sent out a distress call before the crash. Airlines PNG grounded its fleet of 12 Dash 8 aircraft following the crash and also quarantined the fuel depot at Laes Nadzab airport where the plane last refuelled and took off. Australia has sent four army Blackhawk helicopters, in Port Moresby for an exercise, to the crash site to assist with the search and rescue effort at the request of PNG Prime Minister Peter O'Neill. He had been back in the country less than an hour after flying in from Australia when told of the crash. The PNG Public Enterprises Minister Sir Mekere Morauta expressed sympathy for those who died. "This is a terrible accident, and many people have died," he said. "I offer my condolences to the families of the victims of this disaster. "I join with all other Papua New Guineans in mourning our loss." It is the second fatal incident involving an Airlines PNG aircraft in recent years. In August 2009 an Airlines PNG Twin Otter crashed on approach to the Kokoda airstrip, killing all 13 people onboard, including nine Australians.

Here's also a link to today's National paper. This just stirs up even more controversy about the proposed merger of APNG and Air Niugini.

Ticking Down The Clock

2011-10-13T09:31:00.000+08:00

Less than two weeks left now. Much to do! Much to do! Unlike the "upmarket" expats in town who get to turn over the keys to their vehicles and cell phones then get their airfare organized, I have to sell my stuff, cancel various insurance plans and phone contracts, organize refunds (yeah, right...), and track down how exactly to get out of PNG.... It's actually all quite nerve-wracking!

However, I'm (insanely) optimistic everything will work itself out.... I'll let you know... In the meantime, I'm organizing the transfer of stuff I do...uni stuff (yeah, real work...), but also all the "volunteer" stuff to... the LYC website, the LGFC website, etc.

I'm even making sure someone is taking over the Lae blog scene! Meet THE GODDESS. She rocks. And she has assured me she will keep me (and you) updated on all the ~~bullshit~~ wonderful things going on in and around Lae. Yipee!

Must get back to my to-do list.... counting down the ~~minutes~~ days...

Bad Day, Great Gift

2011-10-12T08:32:00.001+08:00

I remember the first time I went back to the States and the little party I was thrown. So many gifts! I cannot imagine what is in store for me for my go pinis....

Anyway, I had a bad day yesterday and I came back from lunch and Lucy had left a bilum on my desk. She said she hated seeing me upset and wanted to give me one of my presents early.... She really is awesome.

This bilum is BEAUTIFUL. I swear I think it's amazing that Lucy knows exactly what I'd like... of all my bilums, she has given me my two favorite ones! (And I have had A LOT of bilums given to me...).

Anyway, my day still sucked, but Lucy made me smile. I'm hoping today will be better... so far, so good.. I'm optimistic, anyway. We'll see.... in the meantime, I have a beautiful new bilum!

Go Pinis!

2011-10-09T14:40:00.001+08:00

For those around in Lae, you're already aware, but for those of you who ~~stalk~~ read my blog and my whereabouts.... big announcement.... wait for it... wait for it... I go pinis!

My man* is packing up and I'm joining in the boxes. Where to next? The island of Borneo. More specifically, to the Indonesian side in East Kalimantan, to the city of Balikpapan.

As per my Lonely Plant guide:

"Balikpapan is an air-con boomtown... For up-market travellers, Balikpapan has the best hotels and restaurants in Kalimantan and an active nightlife scene.... The central area is mainly given over to shops, hotels, and restaurants."

I'm sorry.... did it just say shops? Hotels? RESTAURANTS? I. am. giddy. 17 days to go. Lots to do!

And, no woris, my fellow blogsters, Educating Wendy will continue! Did you even notice the new blog header?!?! ;) Okay, back to packing.... LOTS TO DO!

Public Notice

2011-10-07T08:25:00.000+08:00

"...but PNG has got the cure. More than 50% of people with HIV AIDS has been cured..." Ug. Seriously, this is a huge banner in Top Town! I'm just wondering exactly how much it is for this "cure"....

iSad :(

2011-10-06T15:26:00.005+08:00

Steve Jobs. 1955-2011. My favorite quote of his: "I want to put a ding in the universe." Indeed, Steve, you did. Rest in peace.

Yummo.

2011-10-04T09:49:00.002+08:00

I love salads. Yummy, delicious, something sweet, something tangy salad. Certainly not the kind my mom used to make (no offense, mom) with iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, carrots and French dressing… oh, and croutons for special occasions…

Nah… I miss Panera seasonal salads… walnuts and apples in the winter, or poppy seeds and strawberries in the summer…. And good lettuce. I like my salads to have tasty lettuce, sometimes even those kinds that verge on being weeds.

Believe it or not, I have a hard time getting stuff to make yummy salads here. Sometimes you can find different types of lettuce or bok choy at the market, but I only go on Saturdays…. Occasionally they make it to the grocery stores, but it just depends. Sometimes they’re there, and wilted beyond recognition. Yes, we get fresh fruits and veggies, but eat them quick!

And yummy ingredients for a salad? Oh, I found imported spinach a couple weeks ago. I filled a small bag for K9. Let’s just say my spinach salad was mostly bok choy with some spinach added in. I also love nuts on my salad…mmmm… toasted crunchy bits of goodness on top! My favorites? Pine nuts, almonds, and cashews…. Mostly readily available… for a price…. And it’s a price I am willing to pay when I am salad desperate…. Toast them up to perfection…

I popped into Food Mart yesterday and the avocados were perfectly ripe…. Yummo. And what? Red grapes? (Yes, I did pay over k60/kg, but FRESH RED GRAPES!!). And some raggy-leaf lettuce that looked good?? Two different kinds?!? What! And local? (Thankfully, something was cheap!) I got home and mixed up some salad dressing… tangy, sweet, yet still light and so tasty….

Today’s lunch*…. A salad. A yummy, delicious, fabulous salad. Total food orgasm.
I. Am. Happy.

*It didn't quite make it to lunch...but close enough. Mmm mmm mmmmmmm

Killings in Kianantu

2011-10-04T09:13:00.000+08:00

I really, really wanted to go to Goroka this weekend, but that's just not happening.... You have to go through Kianantu to get there and the villages are having "a bit" of tribal fighting.... Headline to yesterday's National newspaper:

Apparently, the police were outgunned, so they left the area. Lovely. 15 dead, morgue full. No end in sight.... Here's the Post-Courier's account:

Kainantu massacre!

KAINANTU town in Eastern Highlands became a killing field last Friday after 15 men were hacked to death in an early morning raid and their homes at Banana Block, a notorious settlement, burnt to ashes, Highlands police said.

Police said the killings have brought all businesses in Kainantu town to a standstill for the last three days, only after the town shut down due to the killing of a notorious criminal three weeks ago at this settlement.

According Highlands Police Commander Simon Kauba and eyewitness reports, those killed were from the Kamano No 2 constituency while the invading Agarabi tribe reported one death.

Reports say most of the bodies of those murdered from the Kamano area were severely mutilated beyond recognition while several who were injured were fighting for their lives.

Supt. Kauba said the Agarabi people, the traditional owners of the Kainantu town land, decided to take the law into their own hands after they accused the Kamano people of causing all the law and order problems in Kainantu town.

A source said he was escorting coffins on a convoy late yesterday to Kurufi village where the bodies will be given to their tribes.

He did not want to be identified because of the sensitivity of the situation.

He said about two to three men were killed from each tribe in the Kamano No 2 constituency.

Member for Obura-Wanenara and Internal Security Minister John Boito flew to Goroka early yesterday and he was expected to travel to Kainantu to assess the situation.

Two women members of the SDA church, who voluntarily retrieved the bodies, described the gruesome attack as that of a movie scene because they had never seen any thing like that in their lives.

“They butchered them like animals. They didn’t give them any chance…neck, eye, ears, noses, hands, legs…were all chopped off. I fainted. It was blood and body parts everywhere,” one woman recounted over the phone.

“It happened in just under four hours.”

She said the SDA mothers collected the bodies in bags and laplaps and assembled them at the Kakaruk Market beside Kainantu Primary School.

The woman said the incident started when an Agarabi youth from Anona village was attacked in a drinking brawl by Kamano settlers last Tuesday evening. The Agarabis pressed for compensation at Banana Block and were paid K300.

But the Agarabis were not satisfied and returned on Friday morning to Kainantu Market and demanded a Kamano man, who was looking after the market, to give them the keys so that they will take over the market and collect vending fees.

“The Kamano man said the market is his only source of income and did not hand over the keys. The Agarabis pulled the keys off him and that’s when a fight broke out and into Banana Block,” she continued.

She said the Agarabis chased the Kamanos towards the Ramu River and cornered them and started chopping them. She said a machine gun reportedly used by the Kamanos to defend themselves mulfunctioned.

She said they washed the bodies and took them to Goroka hospital but were rejected because the mortuary was full.

A source from the Kamano side said they brought the bodies back to Kainantu and tried to dump them at the Kainantu police station.

“But we brought them again to Kainantu Hospital and lined them in a ward until today when we brought them to Kurufi,” he said.

Supt. Kauba said he has deployed two mobile squad units from Mount Hagen to Kainantu to bring the situation under control.

“I am appleaing to the leaders to come forward for a peace negotiation on Wednesday,” Mr Kauba said.

I'm an Asshole... I mean ARSOL

2011-10-02T17:54:00.006+08:00

This weekend was the Grand Final for Aussie Rules. So, with all the other assholes ARSOLs*, I went down to the Yachty to cheer for my team. I actually don't have a team (I still no nothing more about this sport since last year's tie and two grand finals...) , but I like to watch the players beat up on each other and, well, you get free beer and snacks at the ARSOL events. Plus, the awards ceremony is always fun as the losers dress up with coconut bras and toilet seat necklaces.....

Also, I was asked to do an interview for Blog Expat. Click the logo to check it out! :)

*ARSOL - Aussie Rules Supporters of Lae (a very elite group of individuals, I might add....)

Baby Abigail

2011-09-28T08:59:00.001+08:00

I swear the last couple of weeks have been WTF around Lae. And then my boss's secretary brought in her new baby to the clinic to get a prescription* for bottles so that she can come back to work.

Little Abigail is precious and it was what I needed to jolt my from my growing cynicism. She is ADORABLE!

*Yes, you can get Xanax, Percocet, and Codeine over the counter, but must have a prescription to bottle feed. Apparently, it has something to do with sterilization of bottles (or typical lack thereof).